Real estate agent headshots are apparently the adult version of elementary school picture day. Same cheesy backgrounds, same forced poses, same freshly combed hairstyles, same terrible outfits, same emptiness in the eyes. The only difference: Photoshop. They're wonderful, and luckily, there's a Tumblr -- the fittingly named Real Estate Agent Headshots -- that collects the best of them. Here are some of our favorites, with guesses on what the agents posing were thinking while having their photo taken.
What was going through their mind: "I may sell you a home; I may creep into your home in the middle of the night, and live in the crawl space before burning it down. WHO KNOWS."
What was going through their mind: "No, ladies, I'm not the lovechild of Morgan Spurlock and Seth Green, but you'll LOVE this apartment I'm about to show you."
What was going through their mind: /hums "So Fresh, So Clean"
What was going through their mind: "Who wouldn't want to buy a home from a 1980s action movie villain?"
What was going through their mind: "I shall call this The Stinker, 'cause ain't I such a one."
What was going through their mind: "I hope this shirt distracts from the fact that I'm not Mike Francesa."
What was going through their mind: "I'm so lonely."
What was going through their mind: "If I sell you this condo, we'll already be at Your Place."
What was going through their mind: "It's smart of me to remind people how little security they have, even if their homes. Also: AHHHHHHHHHHH."
What was going through their mind: "Real estate is awful."
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Photo #3: I had no idea that Carmen Sandiego went legit and got into real estate
annnd by Photo #3, I mean Photo #4
There’s no way anyone saw that picture and didn’t have Carmen Sandiego pop into their head.
Uh, are we sure that #9 isn’t that alien from Doctor Who that tried to blow up Earth by building a nuclear plant in Cardiff?
Maybe it’s because I just finished the first season last night, but I’m suspicious.
These look like they belong in a Tim & Eric sketch
No. 8… good lord.
This reminds me, I was looking up rentals on Craigslist once and I found a listing for a female realtor who guaranteed sex with her clients once they purchased a house. No pic, though.
Honest question – are the first one with the dog and the one with the wine glass men or women? They’re dressed like women, but they both look like men in drag.