Instead of Girl Meets World, which isn’t going to be nearly as good as our nostalgia-ridden minds hope it will, mostly because there won’t be enough Minkus nor scenes set in trailer parks, can someone create an entire series about Danielle Fishel, a.k.a. Topanga, playing Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor? Such was the premise of a Soup sketch earlier in the week, and Fishel portrays the half-human, half-vodka human equivalent of a used cigarette with such aplomb that it’s shocking she’s only been arrested for DUI once.
Or Danielle can one-up Lindsay, and put out her long-awaited sex tape, Topanga Beats Off World. (It was either that, or Topanga Eats Girl. I’m sorry for both.)