Are you horny? Are their friends of yours that you’d like to enter the Bone Zone with, but you’re not sure how to approach them about doing so? Well thankfully, Bang With Friends is here!
Here’s a chart from the website showing how it works…
Wait, I’m confused. This looks like some bullshit. Can someone help me figure this out?
Enter the Daily Dot:
Users log in anonymously where you are then presented a Pinterest-like board of your friend’s faces peering back at you. They are judging you for the life choice of signing up for this. If you want to “bang” your friend, click “Down to Bang.” (Take note of that descriptive URL.) The button transforms into an “Awaiting Bang” signal, indicating that selected subject is waiting for your highly coveted coitus 360° experience.
The chosen one is only alerted to your bangin’ availability when they sign-in to the app and also happen to click on your face. After that, you both receive an email—probably congratulating you of avoiding the “friendzone.”
In an email with the Daily Dot, the site’s creator, who (obviously) wished to stay anonymous, said it has so far successfully matched up 100 couples for string-free bangs.
Bang with Friends man emailed us a very sweet story brimming with romance. He explained that one dude user thought he was “friendzoned by his new French hottie of a friend.” But then Bang With Friends worked its magic! “She was down though and they have hooked up since,” he wrote. “It’s funny but I’m proud to say that we helped that happen!”
Yeah, this is stupid.
Look, guys and gals, here’s a pro tip: if there’s a friend you’re dying to bang with, just get some cocaine and have them do a bump or two with you, and then go dancing. You’ll be back at your place getting your sex on in no time. Just ask these guys…
You’re welcome.
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“Bang Your Friends: For when you want to find out who has Chlamydia, but you just don’t have the time”
These advertisements write themselves.
If you’re infected and you know it, clap your AAAAAAGH!
That condom diagram is there for a reason.
ORRRRRRR, how about your girlfriend and you get an email telling you to “bang each other”
That would be a nice awkward silence over dinner.
If you’re stupid enough to pick your girlfriend, and she’s stupid enough to pick you,you clearly deserve each other.
I can imagine how this will play out in Maury:
Mary Jane: “Maury, I signed up for Bang With Friends and pretended to be my sister and when I asked him to have sex with me he agreed. He’s nutin but a cheetar!”
Cletus: “That wasn’t me! I’ve never cheated on her.”
Maury: “Well, we asked you Cletus if you’ve ever cheated on Mary Jane…you said “No” and the lie detector determined…(Dramatic pause)…that not only have you cheated on Mary Jane but that you’ve slept with all 9 of her sisters and 11 cousins, including cousin Jim, all through Bang With Friends.”
Mary Jane: Hysterical crying. Runs off stage.
Audience: “Gasp, we never would have expected that. Booo!”
Maury: “Cletus, what do you have to say?”
Cletus: Blank stare. Get up and start break-dancing.
Audience: Clapping. “This guy is cool.”
Goddamn it. Dialing 1-800-COCAINE doesn’t work. *throws phone in the dumpster*
Nice site