Douchebags Now Have A Card They Can Flash In Public To Display Their Douche Credentials

Let’s say you’re a douchebag, one of staggering proportions, the type of guy who goes around threatening to write bad reviews of businesses on sites like Yelp and TripAdvisor if you don’t get exactly what you want. What do you do to take your douchiness to the next level?

Well, you pay $100 to a fellow staggering douchebag like Brad Newman — who noticed that making threats to trash establishments online got him preferential treatment in some places — for the “ReviewerCard.” It’s a surefire way to let everyone know you’re a repugnant prick who’d like to be treated “like Brad Pitt” the second you enter a bar or restaurant or hotel.

Reports the LA Times:

Brad Newman thinks that people who post lots of reviews on websites such as Yelp or TripAdvisor don’t get enough respect from the businesses they write about.

So he’s come up with his own business, a Manhattan Beach company called ReviewerCard that issues IDs to prolific online reviewers to help them get better service than the rest of us.

Granted, that’s not how Newman, 35, would put it. He sees ReviewerCard as a way to enhance the relationship between amateur reviewers and the hotels or restaurants they visit.

“I’m going to review them anyway,” Newman said, “so why not let them know in advance? It’s not hurting anyone.”

So basically the idea is to blackmail/extort business owners by the mere implication that you’ll write a bad review if you don’t get treated exceptionally well. But Newman insists that the cards do not imply threats: “It’s not a threat…It’s a way to get the service you deserve,” he told the LA Times. Right.

Personally, if I were, say, a restaurant owner and someone flashed this card, I’d either refuse to serve them or make sure a human bodily fluid was added to their food and/or beverages. And I know a few bar and restaurant owners that might even punch someone in the face for flashing such a card if you caught them at the wrong time.

Finally, I like Octavia Bourdain’s version of the card much better…

(Via Magary)