Earlier today, I was thinking to myself, “Man, I’m SO happy my genitalia isn’t made out of my forearm skin, blood vessels, and nerves. I wonder what that’s like?” Sensing a story in which they could use “penis” in the headline, here comes the Sun, answering my query with the triumphant story of one Mr. Andrew Wardle.
WITH his good looks and charming patter, it’s easy to see why Andrew Wardle is a hit with the ladies. But while he has slept with more than 100 women, there is a secret he has kept from all his admiring pals — he was born without a penis…But now he is preparing for ground-breaking surgery which will see him become one of the first men in the world to have an entirely new penis built from his own arm. (Via)
/17 Happy Madison employees rush to get the rights to his life story.
At 21, Andrew…experimented with drugs such as ecstasy and LSD as a way of dealing with the psychological effects of being born without his manhood. He said: “By taking drugs I gave myself the perfect cover. I’d bed girls but said things could only go so far because the drugs meant I couldn’t rise to the occasion. I’ve been to bed with over 100 women. Some were one-night stands, some long-term relationships. I’ve told 20% of them the truth. (Via)
His inspiration, the Diane Keaton to his Woody Allen, is Mohammed Abad, an “Edinburgh man who lost his penis in a car crash at six but had it rebuilt using part of his arm.” The part of Mohammed will be played by Rob Schneider in Happy Madison’s Hard Dick and the Good Luck Arm. It’s, confusingly, about a talking fart.
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/mars-penis-150x150.jpg)
“Yes, it’s true… this man has no dick.” – Bill Murray
I would have also accepted the credit to go to Dr. Peter Venkman. Well played!
If there is one rule for the dickless, it’s try to stay out of the press.
And an entire arm for a dick? This greedy bastard. Just get a baby arm instead.
Do you know how hard it is to get a baby arm?
This isn’t The Congo.
you want an arm? i can get you an arm….hell i can get you an arm by 3:00.
/ fucking amateurs
How did he sleep with 100 women with no penis?
I have yet to meet a lesbian with a penis, but they sleep with lots of women.
I wasn’t aware you needed a penis to partake in a natural human process… alongside somebody else that is.
I didn’t mean that it was impossible but honestly, don’t you think a couple girls were like, “hey where is your penis?” And then dipped. In the end, 100 women is like 99 more then me so there you go.
And if this was a story about a woman’s vaginal repair, I don’t think the jokes would be as welcome or in fact, tolerated at all.
These horrible double standards … hopefully, this will make you, eh, less sad.
What would you even make a vagina from? A mouth? Ah, same difference really.
Oh shit, I think I hear a Jezebel stampede starting up. “Oh no you di ‘ int!” Quick hide under your desk, you cannot use logic to stop that charge.
How did this guy pee?
Can’t believe no one has made any fisting jokes yet.
He looks like he could be Jeremy Renner’s older brother. Maybe he should get a mold of Renner’s penis as a facsimile of what his might have looked liked had he been born with one.
Man, what would the future be like if the penis went the way of the vestigial tail. His balls (I am assuming he has one/two) must be the saddest sight on earth.