This Florida Craigslist Ad For A Goat Rental Is Very Specific

I have never rented out my own livestock before, nor have I had to contact anyone about renting their livestock at any point, but I’m told – and I’m being 100% serious – that a fella can make a pretty decent pile of cash on the side by renting out pigs, goats and other animals for parties and general lawn maintenance. Naturally, if a guy’s going to be renting out his goats for whatever occasion, he’s going to expect them to come back unharmed, but I was still a little surprised to see how blunt one goat owner was in a recent Craigslist ad from, where else, Florida.

I have a goat I will rent out all day long for $5 $20 deposit if you bring the goat back and it has been penetrated you lose Your deposit!…call Harry

That raises the question – what does Harry mean by “penetrated”? Does he mean that he would prefer that you not stab his goat? That’s understandable, as nobody wants to pay medical bills or, even worse, bury his beloved goat.

Or does he mean that your goat better not be up to no good with his goat and putting its goat bits and pieces in your goat’s holiest of holies? Because, again, that would make perfect sense.

Or does he just mean that he doesn’t want people having sex with his goat? Because I’m with him on that one. You should definitely lose your deposit for that.

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