A Houston Man Is Desperately Trying To Trade 3,000 Porn DVDs On Craigslist

As we’ve pointed out so many, many, MANY times before, people sell a lot of crazy crap on Craigslist, from time machines to the world’s greatest Jeep Wranglers. And sometimes they just sell porn. But there’s one Houston man who is currently trying to get rid of A LOT of porn on Craigslist, and he shouldn’t be lumped in with the rest of the perverts out there. This unnamed barterer recently purchased an independent video store (*flips scarf, sips PBR*) and he realized that he was suddenly sitting on 3,000 DVDs that feature nothing but the naughtiest of people getting naughty.

I have an assorted lot of adult DVD’s in my warehouse. These are the 6 hour long versions without story lines. I have no use for them, but thought I would see what trade offers are out there. They come 100 in a case and I have 30 cases.

I will consider any trade offers for a case or more. If you are in the service industry I will also consider, but tell me what it is you do in the first email.

I am open to nearly any trade offers with the exception of live animals. Please email what you have and I will give it the proper consideration.

I am NOT interested in cash sales. Trade offers only please. If your first email does not have a trade offer it might be ignored as spam.

Be willing to meet downtown near the GRB convention center for any swaps.

I’d love to see that swap, actually. A guy pulls up in a giant truck, ready to haul away his 30 cases of porn, just like our forefathers imagined. But it’s really interesting that he’s looking for trades in lieu of cash, because you’d think he could make plenty of money by just selling the DVDs individually for a cheap price. I assume it’s because he doesn’t want to be a smut peddler, but luckily the Houston Chronicle’s Texican caught up with the anonymous gentleman to find out the deal behind this deal.

He’s not interested in cash for the porn, only in trading something for the porn. He’s already received a number of emails inquiring about the stash of blue movies. One person offered up a pet zebra.

“I was just offered a Patriot Missile nose cone. As it is plastic I am sure it is some kind of model or kit,” he writes. He pictures a kid in a basement building a rocket, deciding to stock up on porn, rather than prepping for federal charges.

WHO TURNS DOWN A PET ZEBRA?!?!?! Damn, I’d really love to know what this guy thinks his 18,000 hours of plotless porn is worth, because if it’s not worth a zebra or a fake missile, then I just don’t know the value of erotica anymore.

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