|  | **Online Host**Welcome to Meet The Mets Chat!
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|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: omg you guise coach warthen calt dice k’s manservant a chinaman |  | 
|  | TheJeurysOut: what o my gord |  | 
|  | DudleyDoWright: when you say “manservant” do you mean his translator?  I don’t think Dice-K has a guy he makes follow him around and fan out his money. |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: vincent, virgil, whatever, point is warthens a cracpot racist |  | 
|  | DudleyDoWright: Slow down.  What happened, exactly? |  | 
|  | **Online Host**Welcome to the New York Mets Spring Training Chatroom!
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|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hey anybody remember me; prof kyle ‘the road dogg’ farnsworth badass mlb journeyman |  | 
|  | AndrewDiceK: なぜここにいる? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: say what |  | 
|  | AndrewDiceK: 私は「なぜここにいる?」と言った |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: aight well ‘seven up yours’ did you unnerstand that |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh hey excuse me you look like a american can you help for a tic |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: Hello sir, I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Dan Warthen, Mets pitching coach.  And you must be … Mr. Matsuzaka’s translator? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: uhh |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: uhhh |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: uhhhhhhhh |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yes? |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: Great!  I didn’t catch your name … |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /thinks of the worst name |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: jeff my name is definately jeff |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: Good to know ya, Jeff. So how long have you been working with Daisuke? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: my hole fucken life seems like |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: And I guess that means you’re fluent in Japanese? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yep rosetta stoned that shit, wear teen draws on my head put tentacals up in ladies the hole 9, i am shoot japanese as balls |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: Well, that’s certainly interesting.  I suppose we’ll be working together a lot this season.  We expect great things from Daisuke! |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: srsly?? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: welcome to 7 yrs ago slapnuts that gyroball was bull’s shit he just yells blatherin blatherskite before throwen a shitty changeup |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: Uh, well … regardless, it’s great to have such a notable Asian and I guess now Asian-American athlete on our squad! |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the perferd nomenclature is “chinaman” |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: I’m sorry? |  | 
 | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: they perfer chinaman chinaman is what you call them, people of that persuasion, call them chinaman or else, this is 100% the truth |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: That doesn’t seem politically correct, especially since he’s not from– |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: chinaman, do it |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: How do you know this for sure? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: my job before this was pirate |  | 
|  | **Online Host**Welcome to the Pittsburgh Pirates 2013 Chatrom!
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|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: FER CHRIST’S CRACKERS WHY ARE WE ON A BOAT WE’VE BEEN DOING THIS CHAT FOR LIKE 10 YEARS HOW IS “PICKSBURG ARE ACTUAL PIRATES” STILL YOUR ONLY JOKE |  | 
|  | BarmesAway: silence, matey! Yarr!! |  | 
|  | ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: Avast, ye scallywag!  We’re off to th’ mystical lands of THE PLAYOFFS, but first, we’ll be stoppin’ by the ORIENT |  | 
|  | BarmesAway: t’visit a Chinaman in the port of Saint Louis, and plunder his embarrassment of riches! |  | 
|  | ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: AND KILL THE CHINAMAN, YAR YARRR |  | 
|  | BarmesAway: ARRRRR |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: are yall talken about kolton wong cause i’m p. sure that dude’s hawatian |  | 
|  | ZackAndMiriMakeAMorneau: YES, but RACISTS we be! |  | 
|  | **Online Host**Welcome to the New York Mets Spring Training Chatroom!
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|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: so yeah chinaman definately |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: that sounds awfully strange, but you’re the expert!  Even if you aren’t a chinaman yourself! |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: gasssspppppp you just racist slurd me |  | 
|  | AndYouKnewWhereYouWarthen: wait, what, no, I |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: give me a job on the mets or i will reveal your slur to a small sports blog, and then 10 minutes later deadspin will cover it without giving proper credit and you will be FUKT |  | 
|  | **Online Host**Welcome to Meet The Mets Chat!
 |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an the rest as they say is herstory |  | 
|  | TheJeurysOut: smdh |  | 
|  | DudleyDoWright: So I’ve gotta know, did you guys end up killing Kolten Wong or what? |  | 
|  | pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no that dumb eskimo kicked our ass |  |