'Game of Thrones' Recap: 'The Old Gods and the New'

NOTE: I’ll open a SPOILER thread at the bottom of this post’s comments section. Please contain all “upcoming on GoT” talk to there. If you mention something that hasn’t happened on the show yet outside of said thread, you’ll be banned. The only way to be unbanned: giving me all your dragons. No dragons, no dice.

What made “The Old Gods and the New” one of the strongest episodes of the season wasn’t because of Ygritte’s grinding against Jon Snow or the Ultimate Joffrey Slap (more of a punch, really), though both of those helped. Rather, it was because the show stayed with individual stories longer than it usually does.

Take, for instance, the opening scene, where incestuous, treacherous Theon “conquers” the undefended Winterfell. After an awkward bit of exposition, where Theon tells Bran what he’s done, I expected the show to cut away to another character, as it often does during a setting change. Instead, we follow everyone to the courtyard for the clumsy, yet brutal execution of Rodrik Cassel by Theon. The whole thing only takes about five minutes, but it’s an effective way of making the show fell less hectic, something that’s occasionally bugged me this season, as well as letting the scene’s message sink in: that Theon’s a miserable prick.

“The Old Gods” also had a lot of Jon Snow, who’s now f*cked in the middle of Hoth (and might soon be f*cking his redheaded, wilding capture, Ygritte – man, Ned Stark sure raised his non-sons to love wildings, didn’t he?), and the ever-clever Arya, learning all she can from Lord Tywin, while simultaneously hiding her face from Littlefinger. Plus, the aforementioned Joffrey Cowpie Punch, which we have a GIF of after the jump.

  • Seriously, Theon’s awful. He’s in over his head and knows what he’s doing is wrong, yet can’t help himself because he has serious daddy issues. One thing that bugged me: why didn’t Osha kill him while he was sleeping? She could have done that and still escaped with Bran, Rickon, and Hodor.
  • Hodor.
  • Do you think Lord Tywin knows who Arya actually is? I can’t remember if it’s been established that they ever met, but he sure seems like he does.
  • Loved Arya’s smirk when Lord Tywin said she should devise the next battle plan. Give that girl all the awards. Also enjoyed Jaqen’s sigh that he had to kill Amory “NOW!”
  • This was a particularly gorgeous episode of the show. The cinematography in the scenes Beyond the Wall was stunning.
  • Joffrey attempting to escape from the grasp of the Hound looked like a mouse trying to break out of a trap. Also, did the Internet explode when Tyrion hit Joffrey? I think it did.
  • “You blind, bloody fool! We’ve had vicious kings, and we’ve had idiot kings. But I don’t know that we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king.” Obviously the line of the night.
  • Not a spoiler, but the theft of Dany’s dragons isn’t in the books, so I’m as curious as the non-readers to know where this is going, though I have a theory, which I’ll post in the comments below.
  • “Game of Thrones” is obsessed with grammar.
  • Attractive Women of “Game of Thrones” Power Rankings: #5. Osha (I feel my Osha fandom has been justified), #4. Daenerys, #3. Shae, #2. Ygritte, #1. Talisa

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