To the untrained eye Nicolas Cage is seemingly in every film and television project ever. This — sadly — is not actually the case. There are plenty of popular projects he somehow missed out on and an argument can be made — slightly ironically albeit — that they would have all been improved if Nic Cage had been in them starred in every single role.

If there was only some way the internet could right this injustice?

Enter: Our Brazilian friend Matheus Candido, the man behind modern masterpiece Nicolas Cage as every Avenger. Matheus recently reached out to let us know he is in the process of answering his life’s calling with a new Facebook page dedicated to photoshoppping Nic Cage in all the roles he should have done. Some make perfect sense. Some make zero sense. Some are precision photoshops. Some look like I made them in MS Paint. All are glorious.

Here are a whole bunch of Matheus’s finest work to inspire us to begin a letter writing campaign to ensure that Nicolas Cage is cryogenically frozen and then replicated in the future when we have the technology.

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UPROXX favorite Patton Oswalt is hosting the 16th Annual Webby Awards on May 21st and to promote the event they’ve put together this Everything Is Terribile-style mockumentary on the internet commenting phenomenon “first.” I know what you’re thinking: Sixteen years of Webby Awards? AVNs watch your back!

The clip focuses on Donny “Diamond” Ruiz, The Internet’s First “First.” He’s a sad, lonely, tormented man played by Oswalt in a role I’m going to assume was entirely improvised. I realize it’s all for fun and simply a clever way to promote the Webbys, but I can’t help but feel Patton Oswalt has tapped into the soul of the person who types “first” in internet comments. It’s just so exactly how I imagine it.

I don’t know sh*t about the Webbys (call me when I’m nominated, d*cks) but if there’s a category for commenter parody, this year has a slam dunk winner. As long as they don’t have one of those stupid rules about contest winners not being in any way associated with the show. F you, Kiss FM. My cousin doesn’t even get benefits.

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All-around super-duper likable guy Adam Scott dropped by The Late Show last night, presumably to promote something, but all that matters is that he instead regaled Letterman and the audience with a story about the time he and Nick Offerman decided to drink beers with some college students at Cal Tech.

I don’t want to spoil any of it, because Adam Scott really is the underrated raconteur and me typing words won’t do it justice, so I’ll just tease this with A) when Nick Offerman gets propositioned to drink beers with college kids he simply responds, “Yeah, I’ll do that” (He does love talking to college kids, after all!), and B) Letterman thoroughly enjoys every second of the story, making the whole thing exponentially better.

“Alright, let’s go blow some minds…”

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Is Chevy Chase a dick? Of course he is. Is he completely clueless about the brilliance happening around him every day on the set of Community? Most definitely. Do I wish I’d included a “notorious @sshole” caveat when I put together that Chevy Chase + Awesome People gallery? You betcha. With every day that passes do I associate this version of Chevy less and less with Irwin R. Fletcher? Without a doubt.

But here’s the thing: Pierce Hawthorne has been a serious comedy contributor to Community whether anyone wants to recognize it or not. And with Community’s three episode finale looming this Thursday night and Chevy’s future as part of the 13 episode (seriously, wtf?) Friday night (SERIOUSLY, WTF?) fourth season in question, let’s take a look back at how streets ahead Pierce Hawthorne has been at times over the years. He would have moved the show to Friday nights two seasons ago.

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Since the wrap on production for Back to the Future III actor/comedian Tom Wilson has been answering questions about Back to the Future. It’s gotten a little repetitive. So to save time he carries around text-heavy cards outlining everything he knows and experienced during the filming of the Back to the Future movies. It makes a lot of sense from a sanity standpoint and now Shaun Usher of Letters of Note has shared the message with the masses.

I’ll probably never get to watch Eastwood movies in hot tub full of naked chicks with real life Biff, so I guess this is the next best thing. I especially like how he words Eric Stoltz getting “fired due to performance issues.” Failure to properly make incredulous faces when people keep asking you if you jumped ship is akin to erectile dysfunction, you see.

Full letter after the jump. It’s a fun read that I encourage anyone who had their youth shaped by the Back to the Future trilogy make the time for. Warning: Hoverboard spoilers ahead.

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A day after compiling the best Season 4 Swansonisms, the Parks finale gave us arguably the finest Swansonism of the season and I feel compelled to lead with it this morning. I was prepared to mourn our favorite Thursday night shows today but it looks like they’ll all be back in shortened form for one final season. So even though NBC appears dead set on being the CBS of network television instead the Apple of network television, let’s save the saccharine for when they’re actually gone and concentrate instead on mind-melding group psychiatric visits, wrap-up raps, and the future of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation department.

Thoughts on last night’s comedies in ten words or less…

• Community – Self aware clip show meets mental thriller parody? Only Community.
• 30 Rock – Crisspoints System FTMFW
• Office – Me seconds after deciding I’d watch.
• Parks & Rec – Now THAT’S how you deliver the obvious outcome. Dammit, Jerry.

On to the GIFs! Suggestions/critiques/predictions welcome in the comments. Above via Chet.

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I prefer my movie supercuts on groggy Friday mornings, and if they can focus on something mildly profane to boot that’s just a bonus. So this “SONOFABITCH” effort from YouTuber ziccup is just what the doctor ordered.

All the classic uses are here: exasperation, amazement, ridicule, endearment. Epic Arnold-Carl Weathers Predator handshake leads off, with Teddy KGB, Royal Tenenbaum, and multiple Wedding Crasher sightings highlighting from there. There’s even a nice tribute to Bob DeNiro’s “SOB” clinic from Midnight Run. Good times.

So sit back and click play you goodfornothing-Fridaymorningwasting-videowatching son of a b*tch.

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As I’m sure you’re all aware the Season 4 Parks and Recreation finale is tonight. And I wouldn’t be doing my job here if I didn’t put together some sort of primer to amplify the paradoxical feelings of excitement and sadness that comes with such an event, especially when this could possibly be the end of all the brilliance.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not too invested in the outcome of the Knope campaign. Sure, it’s been a fun storyline — and without it we wouldn’t have Bobby Newport or Burt Macklin’s investigation into the mystery pie thrower — but I’m not actually emotionally invested in the outcome. What I am emotionally invested in is Swansonisms. Should NBC decide tonight is the end of Parks — *shakes fist* BOOOOO! *shakes fist* — I for one will be most distraught over no longer receiving my weekly piece of sage advice from Ron F’n Swanson.

So let’s relive some of the best Swansonisms Season 4 had to offer, shall we? The pieces of dialog the internet grabbed hold of and refused to let die. There I go getting all sappy.

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I didn’t get to catch Conan last night but it was for the best as this morning I was greeted on Tumblr by the above GIFs that I think everyone should experience with limited context before actually watching the clip.

OK, now that you’ve taken it in, the lady yoga mounter is Nina Dobrev. She’s a young starlet on that CW show about vampires that I’d like to think none of you watches unless it is in some way getting you laid. She and Conan were talking physical fitness backstage and it somehow culminated with the demonstration. Full, highly entertaining clip after the jump.

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