We’ll have a full SNL recap tomorrow (well, in eight hours from now), but until then, please feel free to relive Stefon’s final appearance, for now at least. It’s that thing where…Stefon almost marries Anderson Cooper in front of all his best friends, including Menorah the Explorer and Gizblow, but instead runs away with Seth Meyers.
He began as Ben Affleck’s brother, he ended in love with Seth in an episode hosted by Ben Affleck. #america
As you probably remember and will never forget, Patton Oswalt broke the Internet last month when NBC released a video of him filibustering on Parks and Recreation about Star Wars, The Avengers, The Fantastic Four, and X-Men…for nine whole minutes. It was the most spectacularly Patton Oswalt’y thing Patton Oswalt’s ever done, not to mention the first time in *checks math* forever Star Wars has deserved to be slobbered over.
His tirade has now been improved, though, thanks to the work of “iZacLess” who animated the entire sequence. If Star Wars Episode VII doesn’t look EXACTLY like the banner image, I am going to be furious.
Guys. GUYS. Quit your fighting. There’s plenty of Iron Throne to go around. Robb, Joffrey, Stannis, Daenerys, Senile Sadie, you all think you’re the one and only who should be leading the Seven Kingdoms. But you’re wrong, oh so wrong. In fact, as punishment for all the bloodshed and misery you’ve caused (R.I.P. Renly and, oh yeah, all those bastard King’s Landing babies), I’m calling my boy George R.R. Martin to let him know that none of you will ever sit on that horribly uncomfortable looking mess of metal and blister blood. This is how Game of Thrones should end.
No one acts as hard as William Shatner. I don’t mean the kind of hard where someone like Daniel Day-Lewis will spends months, if not years researching, then becoming their character — I mean hard as in HARD. William Shatner doesn’t act; he ACTS. He chews scenery the way James Doohan did sandwiches, and that’s why we love him.
As opposed to certain other Star Trek: The Original Series actors, it’s unlikely Shatner will ever appear in one of the rebooted Star Trek films, which is a damn shame; Shatner vs. Peter Weller would have been great. Anyway, here are 10 of James T. Kirk’s greatest AAAACCCCCCTTTTTTIIIINNNNNNGGGG GIFs.
JAY: I love our late-night drives together, Mitt.
MITT: Me too, Jay. Me too. Thanks for bringing me back home after my appearance on your show.
JAY: No problem. You really laid into Obama on Benghazi and the AP seizure scandals. Really makes you wonder…
MITT: Well, like I said earlier, “It’s better to win than to lose, but in the scheme of life, losing an election was not the end of the road.” Speaking of, this isn’t the route I take to get home. Where are we going?
I have a confession to make. It’s something I should have said awhile ago, especially to a bunch of strangers on the Internet. I…have been cheating on my fiancée. I didn’t mean to, I love her so much, but she was working late one night and I was at home all by lonesome, bored out of my mind…and, well, I watched the entirety of Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry? on Netflix Instant without her. I’M SO SORRY, HONEY. It’s only now do I realize the irony.
Apparently I’m not the only committing digital adultery, though: according to studies released by Netflix, 51% of those in a relationship would cheat on their lover by streaming a TV show they agreed to watch together before their partner had a chance to watch it. And more than 28 million already have. More cold, hard facts:
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday 11:30 p.m.) — SEASON FINALE. Seth Meyers, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, and (probably) Jason Sudeikis will all say goodbye to the series, and with those cats gone, they may as well get rid of Kenan Thompson, too, and clean the seniors out. Ben Affleck hosts, and all I know about the show is that Kanye West won’t be doing any f***ing skits.
Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday 8 p.m.) — SEASON FINALE. Whether you agreed, disagreed, or thought it was all a lot of bollocks, I appreciate you indulging my Theories on Doctor Who’s finale earlier today. If Josh doesn’t get to it on Sunday, maybe I’ll sneak a recap in on Monday.
Orphan Black (BBC America, Saturday 9 p.m.) — Tatiana Maslany is so unbelievably fantastic in this that some are suggesting that she could have saved Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse.
Game of Thrones (HBO, Sunday 9 p.m.) — Enjoy it, folks, because you will have to wait another week for the all important ninth episode because GoT takes the week off for Memorial Day. Worry not. New Arrested Development episodes will fill the void.
Mad Men (AMC, Sunday 10 p.m.) — I hope there’s another hotel room number in this week’s episode, so I can spend the entire goddamn week obsessing about it. The episode title is “The Better Half,” which I’m guessing is a reference to Ted’s side of Sterling Cooper. Or Megan’s side of the Draper marriage. Or both.
Imagine if you were given a speaking role in the series finale of your favorite show, a show you’ve spent years obsessing over and evangelizing for. Wouldn’t that be, well, f*cking cool? Of course it would. It’d be the goddamn coolest! I’d given at least a pinky to have been merely an extra in the diner scene in the last episode of The Sopranos. A PINKY!
Well, that’s exactly what happened to Jennie Tan who runs OfficeTally, a The Office fan site, minus the appendage sacrifice, that is. She emailed show creator Greg Daniels and asked if she could be an extra in the finale that aired last night.
Dustin has spent the week obsessing over the significance of Room 503 and the show as a whole, but ever since this past Sunday’s episode my Mad Men curiosity has been solely focused on one thing: Who the f*ck is Bob Benson? Seriously. Now I really want to know. This Twitter profile is pretty good, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.
Matt Weiner has expertly built intrigue over the first half of the season, inserting that grinning, gradually loveable kissass at just the right moments to make it impossible for even the most obtuse observer to avoid asking: Seriously, what’s his deal?
Theories abound. I’m sure many of you have your own. My personal hypothesis is that Weiner was a huge Lone Star fan and is just f*cking with everyone to his own amusement. There will be no payoff. This theory sucks. And I’m sure all of yours are better. So let’s put it to a poll and a discussion on a slow Friday afternoon, shall we? Maybe we can will ourselves to a resolution Sunday night.
