7 INVENTIONS STOLEN FROM NIKOLA TESLA

If you think this is impressive, you should see how he reads in the bathroom.

You’ve probably already heard about inventions by Nikola Tesla that have been credited to other inventors. His work in the fields of radio, floroscopy, and vacuum tube amplifiers have been attributed in the past to Marconi, Edison, and Edison (again), respectively. What you may not know is that many other modern-day inventions and some never-before-seen inventions were also his work. After Tesla’s death, trunks full of his papers were impounded by the US Alien Property Custodian office, even though he was a citizen. I found some of these papers recently when they fell off a truck, just like my stereo system and my TV did. (Really). Those papers outlined seven inventions Tesla didn’t get a chance to realize in his lifetime:

Have you ever been waiting in line at a fast food restaurant behind someone who’s been there 5 minutes and just now decided to look at the menu? And have you thought, “Man, I wish I had a vicious animal to unleash on that guy right now”? But feral dogs are unreliable, and piranhas are so messy! There has to be an easier way! Tesla invented the shark caddy to solve this timeless problem. Oxygen goes inside the tank. Water goes in the helmet. Caddy goes where you want it. Shark’s in the caddy . . . our shark.

Not only did Tesla work extensively in wireless electricity, but he also made breakthroughs in anti-gravity. Need another graphic to explain how it works? Okay.

(Thanks to Uncyclopedia for the cat photos.)

No wonder he never married. (source photo)

I didn’t realize to what extent Tesla changed the course of American sports history. And recreational alcoholism. And all the hat wear in my closet.

Before Dean Kamen invented the Segway for human transportation, Tesla designed a remarkably similar product for meerkats. Unfortunately, the Meerkat Mover never made it out of the testing stage, when it was discovered that meerkats don’t have opposable thumbs.

Hey, they can’t all be winners. (Ford Pinto outline drawing via the-blueprints.)

All source photos have been credited below their respective images. All other pictures were created in MSPaint, ’cause I’m a baller. Nikola Tesla Company letterhead via Letterheady.

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