If there is one thing that gives me sour grapes, it’s to see some nincompoop get something just because of his or her famous dad. A little nepotism here and there is fine, but it should mostly be reserved for getting internships for the summer and leniency in misdemeanor drug charges. It shouldn’t be your ticket to fame.
Granted there are some people who can’t help but be affected by their father’s name. Frank Sinatra Jr., JFK Jr., Martin Luther King Jr. Jr. and the likes don’t deserve our judgments. Left to their own druthers they would have probably gone off on their own paths. But having to tote around a famous dad’s name is like literally carrying your dad on your shoulders all the time. It’s as if you were playing chicken in the pool, but just on land and all the time… and with may more disapproving looks when you get drunk. God bless you poor souls.
But there are a few of them out there that really get my goat. Those kids who got to be someone they had no right being, all due to daddy’s fame. Here are a few of the more notable:
William Jefferson Clinton Junior…..Bill Clinton, Junior…..BJ Clinton…..hell yes he’d be getting laid.
It’s like if Eliot Spitzer had a daughter named Swallow N. Spitzer
I just imagine Will Smith’s children throwing tantrums in their palacial home, screaming, “BUT DADDY SAID IT WAS MY TURN TO BE A TEEN ICON!”
Hey, Willow Smith inspired an Internet meme. So that’s something, at least.
“It’s not like anything that happened during (George W. Bush’s) 8 years in the Oval Office really made that big of an impact or anything”
Are you fucking kidding? Then how come you still have two wars going on and Guantanamo is still opened?
Where the hell was Tori Spelling:
Sports version:
Haywood Sullivan
Kyle Shanahan
Cody Hawkins
Orange County came out in 2002, ya cunt
X,
Yes, I am fucking kidding.
The Sports Machine,
Tori Spelling deserved every ounce of fame she got. Such talent! Such depth! Such cleavage!
James,
DON’T LOOK BEHIND THE CURTAIN! ahem, I meant 2002.
I’m slightly surprised that Sofia Coppola isn’t on this list
Kim Jong Un has some big shoes to fill. And by “big shoes” I mean “disturbingly thin polyester slacks with no underwear that don’t conceal the outline of a smaller than average penis”.
Two words: Sean Lennon
That is all.
Two more words: Stella McCartney
Rumor Willis. ugh
It seems that Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and the Kardashians are all missing. If it isn’t because they come from famous parentage I believe I am just lost on why exactly they’re famous. OOOh, and Suri.
Hee-larry-us! I my snark well-done. And I’m sorry, don’t mean to speak ill of the dead but JFK jr. totally deserves to be on this list.
Kim Jong Il also belongs on this list. He took over for his own father Kim Il-Sung, the previous Bond villain evil dictator who looked like a lesbian. That will make Kim Jong Un a 3rd generation son of a son wearing the same neoprene dictatorial jumpsuit with matching chaps.
I have to side with X. I know this is a funny post (and it is funny), but I am not sure I picked up if it was all sarcasm about George W. You do know Saddam was executed right?
I know some people will be upset by the Jeebus bit at the end, but it made me laugh. Those people just don’t understand that to be a truly dedicated snarky humorist you must be willing to mock everyone; starting with yourself and your mom, and working your way up to, well… the Big Guy.
You forgot Pauley Shore….the most unfunny, uncreative comedian on the planey.
on the PLANET.
Hmmmmm….I wonder if Kirk got this gig because HE has a famous dad….a Captain of the Enterprise, maybe?
I wish I could get back the 5 minutes I wasted on this article
It seems to me that Dubya’s “qualifications” for the Presidency are different from Bubba’s in only one way–Bubba killed the retarded in Arkansas.
Make that TWO ways–being bigger, there were more of the retarded to be killed in Texas, which should hardly be seen as criticism of Mr. William Jefferson Clinton, who surely tried his best.
Whoops! THREE! Dubya didn’t do lines in the GOVERNOR’S MANSION, unlike Bubba.
This is a funny article (especially the last one) – could cross it with current stories and add Charlie Sheen…
Whoever wrote this must be a non-beleiver. Otherwise they would not have included Christ. My prayers be with you.
Colin Hanks was the ONLY casting mistake in BAnd of Brothers. When Hanks arrived onscreen it just blew the whole scene. Oh great, I’m supposed to believe this douche is a WW2 soldier.
I absolutely cannot believe you put Chelsea Clinton on this list, but DIDN’T INCLUDE PARIS HILTON. How can you not put Paris as numero uno on a list like this? When I clicked on this list I assumed it was created just for her. Most obvious choice. (And Chelsea? WTH? The poor girl’s gotten bashed since she had the misfortune of having a famous president. I think she’s handled being famous- without wanting to be- very well!)
“What made the difference? Having the exact same name as the penultimate president never hurts.”
I take it the person who wrote this doesn’t own a Thesaurus? If they did they should know that the word “Penultimate” doesn’t mean SUPER Ultimate, or anything close to that. It means “FIFTH from last”, hence the “Pen” at the beginning, look it up for yourselves. Unless you know something about the end of the world that we don’t?
I forgot to add that it sometimes us used to imply “Next to last” also. Penultimate is a word subject to common misuse. Many people use penultimate to mean ultimate or greater than ultimate. In fact, penultimate means second to last, or next to last. Thus it is not the ultimate, but the next to ultimate.
For example in the word penultimate “ti” is the penultimate syllable. The last syllable is “mate.” This is often called the penult or penultima syllable. A series of books would have a penultimate volume, usually meaning the next to last volume. Ok, English lesson finished for the day, everyone back to jerking off.
Sorry Scooter, the ‘pen’ in penultimate derives from the latin word paene meaning almost. It has nothing to do with five of anything.
Hey, DT, don’t pick on Scooter, I think when he thought “penultimate” meant 5 from the end, I think he was thinking of “pentagon” or “pentacle” which are five sided or pointed things. It’s most likely a Greek prefix.
Where are Will Ferrell, Liza Mannelli, the Baldwin boys. This list could have easily been the 100 people who didn’t deserve what they got because of who their parents were.
This article was hysterical. I do think it should have been a top 20 like on VH1. The list should have definitely included the Sheen-Esteves boys, the Hiltons, the Kardashians, Nicole Richie, the Jolie-Pitt crew, Suri Cruise (really you kids are under the age of 10 and are named fashion icons….I’m throwing up in my mouth right now).
And for the rest of you idiots that got your panties in a bunch over some of W and Chelsea and Jesus. Really? This article was meant to be funny. The author saying that nothing happened in W’s 8 years in Commander in Chief was a little something we intelligent and witty people like to call SARCASM. Look it up. It’s a fantastic style of humor.
Jesus….Yes Jesus, was just another guy, born of a man and a woman, who somehow got it in his head that he was God’s Gift to the World. He wasn’t the first man to think this, and he certainly wasn’t the last. But Jesus somehow got the World to believe it for THOUSANDS of YEARS!!!
Now all you religious junkies out there, don’t start emailing me and calling me blasphemous. You have no right to judge me, God said so!!!!
Jesus and I are having a late brunch and going over these comments. He told me to assure you he thought it was funny and that you should maybe pray for Darfur or for a cure for ass cancer or something like that. He’s had a lot of mimosas.
Scooter-
I stand by my use of the word penultimate in that when W. ran for president his dad was the next to last president at the time. If you still think I need a thesaurus I would love to receive one as a gift. Although since we are talking about the definition of words it might be better to use a dictionary. Just sayin.
I like most of the recommendations for other entries for the list. This was by no means meant to be comprehensive. Maybe I can get the uproxx guys to make this into a recurring column or something. There seems to be enough douche baggery in this little world of ours to go on like this forever.
Sean Lennon turned down any opportunity of getting signed to a label if it had anything to do with being a Lennon. He finally signed with Grand Royal Records, because it was the only label that saw past the name and genuinely enjoyed his music.
Kirk- If you want to be in this business you shouldnt call anyone a
“c u next tuesday”
You never know who reads what you write. You want to pay those bills dont you? Dont get a bad rep by crossing the line because once you do your done! Like I say you never know whos reading or responding to you. Their are many of us in this business who are women and to read what you wrote just because of a response to a comment will hurt you You only have to have one person in the business read it and you wont be getting any offers for any decent screen plays and thats a fact because there are too many of us that take offense to that word
Critter: I take offense to your shitty grammar and spelling. And I don’t believe you’re in the screenwriting business, either. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not just to try to bully a writer about what words they should be allowed to use (when he didn’t even use the word cunt in the first place. Yes, I typed the actual word. Quelle horreur!)
Criiter,
I did no such thing. I GOT called a see you next Tuesday.
That being said: [www.youtube.com]
Re: penultimate.
Kirk got it right.
I don’t have my lexicon, but…
Final is ultimate, one before the final is penultimate, antipenult is the one before the one before the final.
Penta (not pen) Ancient Greek for 5. (pentagon, not penagon)
//Classics MA
/dick joke
Critter-
Out in the real world I’m a producer for a womens’ television network. I scout the internet for promising writers and I think you fit the bill. You’ve got real writing talent and you’re not afraid to say what’s on your mind. I like that. Do you have any scripts I could take a look at?
Yea the Jesus one was a bit much. I take it you’re not a believer by your nonchalant attitude about people’s feelings towards it though.