NBC’s The Cape is 5 episodes into its first season and I can tell none of you have been watching it. I get it, really. You were probably still winding down from the turmoil of Christmas and the New Year when The Cape premiered, and by the time your brain even started putting together the past few days of shame, broken promises and projectile vomit, the regular shows came back on the air. Why would you devote your time to a series about a guy in a magic curtain drape or something, when Bones and House are back and the prequel series to Spartacus has started?
Really, why?
I’ll tell you why: Because The Cape is the greatest thing to ever happen to television right until someone merges Jersey Shore with Man vs. Wild (and maybe Battle Royale). And just like my proposed Jersey Shore vs. Wild crossover, it’s a bloody mess of idiocy that in most situations would cause you to lose all faith in humanity and firebomb a fertility clinic, but because it’s so over the top bad you can’t help but watch the intellectual horror with a stupid grin on your face. The Cape is arguably the stupidest, best show on TV, and if you want to know why, just keep on reading.
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A bunch of guys I know and I actually get on facebook and live blog the shit out of this and Harry’s Law. Both shows are just so horribly bad that a night is made out of just hurling insults, pointing out plot holes/racial stereotypes (That’s more Harry’s Law) and just joking around about how this shit is still on the air.
I describe this show to people as the campy, shlocky Batman show from the 70′s with a budget. It’s so awful, I can’t not watch it.
No No No fucking no.
It’s cheesy without intending to be cheesy. Its the equivalent of grandma staring at goatse in vain because she forgot where she put her glasses and it could be anything such as a pink and brown spinning pinwheel.
A show where the viewer knows that the dialogue is just a noisy intermission between hilariously bad or over the top fight scenes, where nothing is what it has been the week before or will be in a few minutes.
So, basically rip off Batman some more, as Bob said.
I attempted to watch this the other day strictly because Summer Glau is in it. I couldn’t stomach more than 15 minutes. It’s like watching a big rig jacknife on the interstate, and the ensuing massive, horrific pileup, only less hilarious.
DVRd each episode. Played back each episode. Probably concentrated on watching about 15 minutes total. I just lose attention and do something else, like a chimp around shiny objects.
James Frain is the shit.
FRAIN!
I really try to like anything that has Vinnie Jones. This show is in my poop pile with The Condemned and X-Men: The Last Stand… sadly among others.
I watch the first two episodes. Episode one, I through a dog toy at the TV. I watch ed episode two because I realized most pilots suck because they have to explain everything. So I gave it a second chance. Episode two. Holy F*ckin’ Horror. Ok, Chess (a retarded villain name btw, I cant believe you didnt even address that) is in control of the police department. So “The Cape” ties up the poison assassin and leaves him in the kitchen of the restaurant. And for who to take away ? The Police ? Then, Chess is standing in the kitchen, unprotected and rather than The Cape whacking him right there, he’s does his disappearing spin move. WTF ? Had he offed the guy right there and the following week would be a new bad guy, I would have probably watched episode 3. But its one of those never ending fucking shows where no one dies, the same asshole bad guy gets away every friggin week and I’m just not in the mood to feel that stupid. I can’t get passed it.
*threw fuck
That’s still on?
…heh.
Not for me, but I’ve heard good things.
I just want to bang Summer Glau and this show is nothing but a nice masturbatory aide for that.
I thought about watching it because it’s got Keith David as the head of the carnies, and I love me some Keith David. But I realized it was taking up too much space on the DVR and I was already three or four eps behind and I would probably never get around to watching it, so I deleted it.
I also DVR’d every epi since the pilot aired. I barely made it through 30 minutes of the 2 hour pilot before I got bored and watched something else. I haven’t decided if I will watch any of the epis I taped. Most likely will end up deleting to make room on Tivo for more interesting programming.
This review is spot on. Well done.
So when does the son become his sidekick? I’m betting they call him “Sparrow”.
“It’s like watching a finger-puppet reenactment of the Holocaust performed by Neo Nazis.”
I’m going to try using this simile as much as possible in my everyday life.
Looks like this crapfest may not even make a full season as NBC has cut down it’s original order of 13 episodes to 10 episodes.
What a waste of Summer Glau; my programming exec would just move her over to Spartacus and then I would not wear pants at home….
I liked this article better when i09 wrote it yesterday.
[io9.com]
@Moose – I agree, it kills me to see Summer Glau wasted in a crappy show like this. The one time she was cast in a good show, Firefly, the Fox execs stuck it in the Friday night death slot, didn’t even air the pilot, preempted the bejesus out of it, the show STILL managed to attract a loyal following, and they cut it after one season. *sigh*
/headbutts wall
Mannnn i can’t tell a lie, i had such high hopes for the show since Heros crashed and burned and as a lover of comic/hero type shows i was like YEAH!!! but this show REALLY SUCKS!!!!! Its actually PAINFUL to watch its so shitty.. i’m surprised NBC actually paid for 10 eps.. That crap needs to be flushed asap….
@PJD: Oh wow, I assure you this is just a freaking coincidence. I started work on this article 3 days ago.
I couldn’t stomach watching after the first 2, but the av club reviews are comedy gold.
“Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
Funny, I do feel moderate.
Hey that comment regarding the liveblog of The Cape & Harry’s Law is run by myself and 3 other ridiculous people. Its an open discussion on the FB you can search for us under “The Discerning Scumbag” we’d love to have you as well as suggestions for more shows. Come on down. And ShatnersGhost; thanks for the shoutout!
Series order was cut from 13 epsiodes to 10: a sign of pending cancelation.
This show is toast after ten episodes, but I love it for nothing more or less than the utter lack of irony. Yes, it’s stupid, but it’s vividly aware of how stupid it is and just wants to be a Silver Age comic book. And it succeeds. Shit, it made me actually watch network TV, I haven’t done that in ages.
Besides, if it gets a slightly better writing staff and is given a real chance, it could turn into the next “Spartacus”. I started watching that show for the blood, titties and hilarity, and somewhere around episode five or six it yanked the rug right out from under you. I’m kind of hoping “The Cape” pulls that off if it gets a shot.
I know I’m going to catch shit for this, maybe deservedly so, but you do realize this show is a fucking comic book, yes? Go back and read early Spider-Man (or literally any other old comic book). That shit is FILLED with plot holes and WTF moments because it’s a hyper-reality cautionary tale. Good guy beats bad guy, every time, no matter what.
I mean, one of your complaints is “how would a group of circus freaks come across a cape THAT IN THE REAL WORLD would cost millions?” But you can buy that every single superhero and supervillain in the HISTORY OF COMIC BOOKS was a master seamstress and tailor and was able to fit themselves and make a perfect costume? It’s called suspension of disbelief, and is to some degree required when dealing with a fucking comic book.
“The balls and the near fanatical hatred of science and logic behind the creation of the show’s entire basis fascinate me to no end.”
Yes, what a shock that a show called “The Cape” about a superhero in a costume who fights supervillains in a fantasy universe would be so careless when it came to science and logic and fact. A first for comic book-related stuff, no doubt. I mean, X-Men 2 was so gritty and, ya know, real
Crissakes.
You know which plot hole (emphasis on hole) that I would personally like to fill? The one where some dude grief bangs the crap out of Farraday’s wife a couple weeks after his “death”
i like the show it has become trendy or hip to rag on the show for some reason, because it is a generic superhero and not one from the major companies?
Sorry Caveman, my comment with links got broken and the “Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
So I’ll try again:
@Unfrozen (thawed); I watched the entire Sarah Conner Chronicals just for the robot fantasies. Doll House came close with her and Eliza Dushku producing and starring in a feature length movie (well the movie was in my head, but still). There is always the Serenity DVD stop motion for her fight scene.
*was a link to SG with a gun (HOT)*
or: *was a link to SG in lingerie top*
Not that I’m stalking or anything
HOLY SH*T! Just caught Episode 5 on DVR. Jesus H. Christ. “She walks through the raindrops.” You can’t say that River Tam. Chris Klein owns that.
Also, WTF is up with the lead protagonist character being an American played by an Australian? Where the hell did all the American leading men go? Aaron Eckhart, stop making hipstery movies about dead kids and put that chin to use, damnit.
great show..watch it all the time…still need to watch the re runs to understand it better
*spoier*
That L9 plot hole continues EVERY episode. In the most recent, having spent YEARS and untold millions developing the most advanced piece of software ever (which he will presumably use for evil, I guess), he stores ALL OF THE CODE in one server in one place and when it gets blown up he’s like “oh well. On to the next thing.”
Just last night I tried to explain to my brother why I actually sort of enjoyed watching this show, and I think I made every point in the article. He then watched the first two eps on Hulu and agreed wholeheartedly.
This show is like a crazy, emotionally unstable girlfriend. She’s a mess, she’s scary as Hell, but, damn, she’s fun.
Summer Glau saying, “Have fun in Owl Island BITCH!” is my new ringtone. Toby from “The West WIng” as the Secretary of Prisons and a Cape fanboy? Should get an Emmy nod as BEST NEW COMEDY – I cannot stop laughing or stop watching until it is yanked off the air.
NBC shouldnt have cancelled Heroes… that was actually a good show. The Cape is just a waste of my time.
Wow, you guys are harsh.
I think there are a lot of other shows that are arguably worse than The Cape. I love superheroes so I think it is ok. Not great, but watchable.
I’m just happy to see Summer Glau playing a character with horrible daddy issues instead of characters with horrible personality disorders. Firefly – Psycho; Terminator – Apathetic Robot; Dollhouse – given the actual personality disorder of Aspergers. Apparently Joss Whedon likes his women socially awkward or just fucking nuts.
“Summer Glau playing a character with horrible daddy issues” I agree, she absolutly needs a spanking….
Haven’t seen The Cape, but can’t imagine any show surpassing The Secret Life of the Teenager in terms of sheer awfulness.
I have watched all the episodes of The Cape and while I agree with much of what you say, it is definitely not as bad as No Ordinary Family. By the way, you left out a major plot hole, the character Chess has strange cat-like eyes with vertical slits and nothing has been said about them.