“And why is my hand all pointy?”
Ray Bradbury gave another humdinger of an interview to The LA Times, and I say “humdinger” because I’m trying to use slang old enough to match his adorable old man rant. 
See, if someone our age said this, they’d be a juggalo. But when a famous author who turns 90 this Sunday says it, it’s just funny. Here’s my favorite part of the interview:
“We have too many cellphones. We’ve got too many Internets. We have got to get rid of those machines. We have too many machines now.” [...] “I was approached three times during the last year by Internet companies wanting to put my books” on an electronic reading device, he said. “I said to Yahoo, ‘Prick up your ears and go to hell.’” [HeroComplex]
It’s not the first time he’s told Yahoo and the internets to go to hell, either. Last year he said this:
“Yahoo called me eight weeks ago. They wanted to put a book of mine on Yahoo! You know what I told them? ‘To hell with you. To hell with you and to hell with the Internet.’ It’s distracting,” he continued. “It’s meaningless; it’s not real. It’s in the air somewhere.” [Blastr]
It’s just there in the air. Pure motherf**king magic right?
Ray Bradbury is such a hot-blooded, sexy beast. So sexy, in fact, that Rachel Bloom just released a music video called “F*** Me, Ray Bradbury”. The video is below. Probably goes without saying that the audio is NSFW. But, hey, cleavage. Put it on mute if you need to.
[Thanks to Nerdcore for the video, to Doghouse for the inset pic, and to Ray Bradbury for bringing sexy back.]
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I met Ray Bradbury about 15 years ago when he spoke at my college, really nice guy, very gracious in signing autographs and answering questions from a bunch of sci-fi nerdling fans like me.
Not so much that I want to have sex with him, though.
I’m with Bradbury. We do have too many machines. It’s only a matter of time before they become self-aware. Then they’ll turn on us and what a fine mess that will be. I think it’ll be called something like Judgement Day.
I’m one of the few that actually agrees with him. Just seems like there is too much accessability, and that is not a good thing.
Last week a man came up to me and said “I wanna put a toilet in your house” and I said “Hell no, there’s too many machines! It isn’t real like pooping outside with the spiders!”
we’ve certainly got a skewed view of the world these days
we forget we’re living in a little wealthy bubble and there are real problems elsewhere in the world
the internet’s a rather awesome thing but we all spend way too much time on it and complaining about it, but I guess a slow connection seems like a much bigger problem when you spend your life in front of a screen lol
I’m changing my name to Ray Bradbury!
This is guy is great. Speaks the truth. But , the FlutieFlakes guy referring to The machines turning on us is ridiculous though. Stop using the internet to predict the end. It’s embarrassing to our human race.
“It’s not books you need, it’s some of the things that once were in books. The same things could be in ‘parlor families’ today. The same infinite detail could be projected through the radios and televisors… Books were only one type of receptacle where we stored a lot of things we were afraid we might forget. There is nothing magical in them at all. The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.” -Fahrenheit 451, pages 82-83.
I wish Bradbury would help to bring more substance and ‘infinite detail’ to this new format of information sharing.
I kind of agree with him also. People spending all their time spewing their crap all over their facebook page or watching retarded youtube videos really is only marginally better than being a lazy couch potato watching brain dead TV all day.
And another thing…We’ve got too many books. We’ve got to start burning them. Go back to telling stories around the campfire.
It’s strange to see a man, that dedicated his life to writing ideas, to bash the internet. But I suppose I can understand his point of view. His culture was radically different then ours. He grew up having to worry about nuclear annihilation from the Russians. Every morning, you’d wake up and wonder if you’d hear the sirens blaring. And those sirens usually meant you had about 5 minutes before your molecular bonds were torn apart. My point is IMHO, that he grew up in a culture of secrecy. We live in a culture where secrets are suspect.
“Then they’ll turn on us and what a fine mess that will be. I think it’ll be called something like Judgement Day.”
I don’t know about you, but my computer/cell phone/iDevice seems to just want to help me find things, organize my day and provide me with information – as it was designed to do.
Why doesn’t anybody ever think that they’ll want to be our friends? Nobody ever mentions the AIs in the Culture or Asimov’s Robots. We’re *building* them. Why would we want to *build* enemies.
Can’t wait to have sex with robots.
Pft…like I’m the only one
BOB : “I’m one of the few that actually agrees with him. Just seems like there is too much accessability, and that is not a good thing.”
Too much accessibility? What the fuck does that even mean… bob? What the fuck is wrong with you you fucking fucktard? Fuck me bob.
Self-aware, globally linked megacomputers subjugating humanity “for its own good” has been around since 1970 (Check out “Colossus: The Forbin Project” on NetFlix). Not all that great a stretch when you think about it.
I’m pretty sure that Mr. Bradbury is not arguing for any sort of coming “judgement day” in the vein of Terminator, or that “the internets” will turn on us. I think his point is that we have let this digital world disrupt our basic ability to relate to one another as human beings and communicate. And- while sure, I love that my iPhone can get me directions and movie times (as well as posting this) it becomes the only way we interact with one another and consumes our social lives. Disagree? Look no further than the infamous “consequences will never be the same” freakout (google it). If this is truly our future, then I have to agree with Mr. Bradbury- let’s get rid of all these internets.
It’s sad when someone who once looked to the future, is now mired in the past…
Aw, leave the man alone, He’s got a point – all you young whippersnappers Tweeting and Facebooking instead of learning and observing the world around you; I mean, all these “internets” have useful information that can enhance and enlighten you and your future.
Instead, it’s all just annoying “dlingz”, tinny “music” tones, “who-hoos” and the occasional blood gushing scream when a Twitter-er driver meats (pun intended) an innocent bystander; no one is thinking anymore; it’s all “read about, look at, text to – MEEEEE!”.
and it’s only getting worse; all those kids in minivans watching corporate pablum on their DVD players instead of looking out the window and observing; clouds, shapes, motion, life and the world itself. Then, they progress to “earbuds” and Iphones and IM’s, continuing the devolution of intelligent and rational awareness and imagination into a smiley-faced box of Capitalistic Branded useless information.
Now, leave me alone, and where’s my clicker? It’s time for Andy Griffith on the UHF.
Wtf? This coming from a SCI-FI author?
““It’s not books you need, it’s some of the things that once were in books. The same things could be in ‘parlor families’ today. The same infinite detail could be projected through the radios and televisors… Books were only one type of receptacle where we stored a lot of things we were afraid we might forget. There is nothing magical in them at all. The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.” -Fahrenheit 451, pages 82-83.
I wish Bradbury would help to bring more substance and ‘infinite detail’ to this new format of information sharing.”
Context is important. That’s coming from one of the pro-book burners in Farenheit 451.
“It’s strange to see a man, that dedicated his life to writing ideas, to bash the internet. But I suppose I can understand his point of view. His culture was radically different then ours. He grew up having to worry about nuclear annihilation from the Russians. Every morning, you’d wake up and wonder if you’d hear the sirens blaring. And those sirens usually meant you had about 5 minutes before your molecular bonds were torn apart. My point is IMHO, that he grew up in a culture of secrecy. We live in a culture where secrets are suspect.”
Well, seeing as how he’s turning 90, meaning he was almost 30 at the start of the Cold War, I don’t think he grew up fearing the Russians much at all. More like dust storms.
i am just writing on a website to talk about how we need to stop using the internet so darn much
Hey Bradbury, is it raining on Venus yet? How’s that Martian Terraforming going? I’m so sorry my iPhone has crushed all your bullshit dreams of the future.
While he might have a kind of point (information overload is always a valid point), his failure to even admit the basic benefits of digital culture makes him sound like a feeb.
Hey Bradbury, fuck off.
My Uncle, the Author, Ray Bradbury has a point to all of this madness with the inception of machines, the internet, computers and cell phones, etc, is that their effect, though positive, has over the years has affected many of our loved ones. The advent of all of these wonderful, useful technologies comes with a price, especially if it’s used to lure, bully, or cause harm to anyone. I believe that’s only part of the reason My Uncle feels the way he does. So give the guy a break, he’s 90 years young and still a visionary. God Bless Him and “HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY” Uncle Ray.
Alex – look again. Faber was certainly fearful, but he was hardly pro-book burning.