We tuned into AMC yesterday to see “Comic Book Men” not expecting much. It’s a reality show about a comic book shop, which could be fun, but we thought the same thing about the last couple of series Kevin Smith wrote, and then we read them.
What we weren’t expecting was such a straight-up awful disaster it turned out to be. Seriously. You’d never know that Smith was once a respected filmmaker, or that he likes comic books. We guess that’s what happens when you’re reduced to strip-mining something you love for rent money.
Here are the five reasons you need never see this show.
#5) It’s “The Ricky Gervais Show” Meets “Pawn Stars”, Except Not Funny
The format is basically a mixture of Smith and his employees blabbering about comics around a table, shot in a method as non-dynamic as possible, and people coming in and trying to push useless crap on them.
Perhaps realizing this, about halfway through, there’s a contest between the clerks to sell useless crap at a flea market.
Excited yet?
We know why this show exists: to glom onto the nerds watching “Walking Dead” and keep some of that sweet, sweet ratings action into the following time slot, and do it as cheaply as possible. This isn’t the way to do it, though.
#4) It’s Basically Kevin Smith Pathetically Dancing and Saying the Same Old Crap for Attention
Yes, we get it, you like “Star Wars”. The scene about the contractors on the Death Star in “Clerks” was hilarious. That was in 1993. Attaching yourself to George Lucas’ armpit like some sort of nerd remora is almost as pathetic as George making the biannual tour of announcing he’s retiring and making “personal films” right after he finishes doing something the fans don’t want to “Star Wars”.
It gets worse, though. This show is nothing so much as Smith trying to squeeze more blood from being a nerd, and not a particularly unique or dynamic one, because the film money has dried up and apparently this is all the guy’s got to feed his kid. So of course they’re all wearing colorful hockey jerseys. Of course he’ll be as profane as basic cable at 10pm on Sunday allows. It’s all exactly what you were expecting, except this time it’s a reality series!
#3) The Rest of the Cast Is Awful
You know that guy? The one down at the game shop where you get your D&D stuff and Magic cards? The one who will corner you while you’re looking at dice and lay out in loving detail everything about this totally awesome campaign he’s putting together under Second Edition rules?
This show is like hanging out with that guy. Except they’ve apparently never left New Jersey, gone to college, or developed a personality.
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What I got from this post. “I fucking hate Kevin Smith”
I love Kevin smith so I biased and I’ve not seen this show so I’m in no way qualified to comment on it.
I don’t, actually. When the guy actually sits down and makes a film, he at the very least makes something worth seeing once. It’s just especially lately he seems more oriented towards packaging himself as a “pop culture accessible nerd”, and it doesn’t work.
That’s some insightful commenting right now.
He should start hanging out with Chris Hardwick and Olivia Munn. That way the three of them can pander to the ‘nerd’ demographic all in one place.
For once, I agree with you completely, Dan Seitz. Show was all kinds of awful. Apart from that, it regresses the “comic book fan” stereotype back a couple decades. I’m not saying those guys don’t exist, but there are plenty of comic book fans out there who are far more interesting and just as geeky than those mopes they have on the show. Smith could have done something fun and unique with the show, and instead went for the quick cash grab and put Pawn Stars and Mallrats together and made them fuck.
Dan Seitz, for once could you write an article that’s geared more toward informing people about a subject rather than whining about how much you hate it? Your vitriolic, hateful “this sucks, that sucks, everything sucks!” bullshit writing is terrible. It’s like you wanna be a nerdy Lewis Black, but don’t have the humor or charm for it.
Every comic pull list post ever: “These titles are coming out. They all suck but these few, so buy those.” *Copy/paste from comiclist.com*
Grow the fuck up.
Tell em, Steve-Dave!
Let’s talk about specific articles you don’t like, Darko. Give me some links, and I’m happy to talk about them with you. I’m not going for straight vitriol at all, but if you think I’ve been too hard on something, I’d like to know.
You have been pretty hard on the Beaver…
Well, Surly, he just won’t learn otherwise.
I’ve already seen the show, but if I hadn’t and if I only had this article to go off of, I’d only walk away from it knowing that Dan here REALLY doesn’t like Kevin Smith and no idea of what the show was actually about or like.
If you’re going to review something, sound more like an actual critic instead of just an angry fanboy.
I used to be a Kevin Smith fan. But ever since the way he went on and on about the “too fat to fly” thing, followed by a couple of mediocre movies (and it was more his attitudes and excuses during the criticism of said movies than the movies themselves) I got completely turned off by this guy. I guess my point is I’m not surprised this series sucks, and I’m sure there’ll be a ton of excuses (none of which will be Smith’s fault) once it gets canned.
Smith has become a whiny little bitch in recent years. If he was still cranking out quality product you could overlook it. But the 29 podcasts he puts out a day just don’t cut it for people who actually like to, you know, watch his movies.
Just recently he screwed up a potential TV show with Adam Corolla because of ego bullshit and Smith’s ever-present victim mentality kicking in. Mind you, the very idea of those two towering narcissists together onscreen gives me douche chills.
Seriously, I’ve had bowls of soup with thicker skin than Kevin Smith.
I like Smith. I saw the show. Here’s my take…
He’s at his best when he’s unrestrained and sitting around with someone else who can drive the conversation. That is, he’s better at commenting on subjects others bring up, because if he’s left to his own devices he’s bound to spring a story you’ve heard before (as happened last night with one story).
As for the store, It’s not different from other shows where people “wander in” and sell. It’s not the least bit true. Anyone who has watched Pawn Stars, Oddities, or even American Pickers and other “sales” based shows realizes that there’s NOTHING genuine about the meetings. The fact that cameras are inside the building already when they arrive and simultaneously arriving with the person tells you someone had to stage the whole thing. Producers vetted who would show up, for maximum interest, and went with those people and rejected others.
That said, what the other shows have over this one is that they have a wider range of interests, each of them having “geek items” show up as an occasional part of them. This is a bunch of guys talking about things you and your friends talk about already and contributing little you and your friends haven’t thought of already, and buying stuff that you know is going to be only marginally different every week.
I’m not sure what it would take to keep me interested in this show. Maybe less of the reality show tendency to say, “That’s nice but what if we throw X situation at them?” or “How about this week they argue about X.”
I guess I could have just boiled it down to: Break the formula. Don’t grab the formula for EVERY OTHER SHOW and just add GEEK and pour. Come up with your own formula.
Yeah, in the end, that’s the problem. I went back and rewatched the first episode, and I think a lot of my deeply hostile reaction really boiled down to I hated how fake and engineered the show seemed.
It goes back even farther than that… Think Miami Ink. That show’s site actually had (I dunno if the redux does or not) a web form you had to fill out which included an essay portion (no shit) about /why/ you wanted the piece you were getting.
Anyway, last night’s was the first episode of Secret Stash I’d seen since the opener and just wow… The coup de grace was when they hired some self-professed Star Wars “expert” to take a look at a light sabre hilt and the big reveal that it probably wasn’t from A New Hope but *gasp* Empire (while glossing over the fact that the “expert” wasn’t even sure about the authenticity)! Oh yeah, and that was cut up with scenes of Smith playing hockey… If you can count him /standing/ there skate-less wearing a baseball glove and sweating into a hockey mask followed by waxing poetic about it “playing hockey”…
Unfortunately, it was an hour long advertisement for avoiding comic book shops.
this post definitely seems fairly biased. I feel like many people are jumping on the “I Hate Kevin Smith” bandwagon – from Entourage to Family Guy to pretty much everyone else – and this feels like much of the same. Whenever I read anything bandwagonish, I tend to react very harshly the other way.
The show wasn’t terrible. What you said is definitely true – it’s an obvious ploy to keep some of that post-Walking Dead nerd fanbase watching AMC after the WD episode ends. So what. I think that as tired as some of his schtick is, Kevin Smith is genuinely a hilarious individual. Have you seen any of his “Q&A” DVDs? It could be stand-up, for all intents and purposes. My only problem with the show was that it tried to be too many things at once. If you’re gonna do the “Pawn Stars at a comic book store” thing, then stick with that. If you’re going to have the show revolve around the podcast it was based on and the hilarity that goes on at the shop, then stick with that.
#5 – yes, but there’s a couple of funny parts. no, it’s not laugh out loud hilarious. but we’re not talking about Parks & Rec here.
#4 – really? your bandwagon hatred of Smith really shines through here. when does he even bring up Star Wars in that episode? Smith is being Smith – he’s a fat nerd from Jersey that reads comics and loves all things nerdy. What’s the issue? He’s got a huge fanbase *because* he’s never changed, and he’s honest with who he is and what he likes. He’s got something like 2 million twitter followers (and btw, his twitter account is fucking ANNOYING so anyone who follows him REALLY has to love him) for a reason.
#3 – that guy Bryan with the beard is pretty funny, as is Smith. yeah, the others aren’t anything special. but we’re talking about real people here – not professional comedians, not comedic actors hired for what they do. it’s interesting, if nothing else.
#2 – it didn’t feel staged at all to me, minus the whole “we’re going to a flea market” part. which is obviously staged. I mean… okay, someone brings in a 6 million dollar man doll, and Smith wrote a 6MDM comic… but they don’t even mention that at all. And if they were making a ploy for giving something of his attention, wouldn’t you think it would be something bigger/more practical for the Walking Dead audience? I highly doubt they had that 1 customer come in thinking they are gonna sell more of Smith’s issues of that one comic. you’re reaching.
#1 – it might be a wasted opportunity, but that’s the thing about being a critic – you’re always thinking you have the better idea. “if they only listened to meeeee.” yeah, there’s a shit-ton of great comic stores still open across the US – but none of the shop-keepers are probably as hilarious as Smith, they might not have the banter that these guys do, and let’s be honest here – none of this AMC audience is gonna give half a shit about them. Meanwhile, Smith and his cronies have an established fan base. Those 2 guys, Bryan and Walter, also do a podcast that’s been in the top 10 podcasts on iTunes for a reason, they are genuinely enjoyable to listen to, and quite often funny.
Give the show another chance, take off your bias hat and get off your high horse sir.
You’re guilty of the same thing you accuse Mr. Seitz of being…biased. You’re obviously a Kevin Smith-superfan who can’t see the shitty forest for the turd trees.
100% inaccurate, J Hotsauce. If you actually *read* my response you’ll notice that I’m fairly objective, noting that there are flaws with both Smith and the show itself. I’m merely pointing out the fact that Seitz’s article is obviously biased – and I don’t think anyone can disagree based on what he says within. His personal opinion is loud in his articles… do I even need to bring up the title of the post?
I’m not a Smith-superfan by any means. Have I seen and enjoyed most of his movies? Sure. Do I love everything he’s done? Absolutely not. There’s a difference between objectivity and subjectivity. Pick up a dictionary.
::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: ::headdesk:: It’s a review. By definition that means he’s supposed to give his opinion and opinions, in case you hadn’t heard, are inherently biased.
This is the thing – *these* guys are friends of Smith, and it’s about a store based around his fairly popular characters. All comic book stores are probably about the same and have the same customers and employees and they probably all have a version of Brian Johnson. But no one would care about them unless they knew someone famous.
I knew the show was doomed within the first couple of minutes when they (and by “they” I mean the 40+ year old grown-ass-men on the show) made a “Dick” Grayson joke. And not even a funny one.
They followed that up with a “Who’s the hottest superhero?” and Kevin Smith tried to say that the chick with fishnet stockings was already half naked. They’re all half naked and if you’re wearing fishnets you’re actually less naked than most of them, including the one that the guy before you mentioned.
Actually what they did was put out a casting call for people to come in on two specific days to sell stuff. That’s why you had all those people with what they had.
I liked the show. The rest of you can go *@#$ yourselves.
This guy reeks of desperation, Chasing Amy is the only ‘movie’ he has ever made that i enjoyed. His very first Q and A movie was great but the next few were not worth watching. Used to post on his board, don’t anymore. Listened to him on Carolla and decided i was done with him, although both were at fault a bit in that instance. I don’t think the world really needs another Kevin Smith vehicle. Even his pot smoking is pretentious and sad.
TL;DR: Angry, mediocre writer with a chip on his shoulder the size of Kevin Smith panders to audience full of jealous, bitter internet nerds all too ready to crap on anything Kevin Smith.
It’s hard to take a review seriously when one of the tags is “KEVIN SMITH SHOULD CONSIDER SOMETHING MORE DIGNIFIED LIKE PORN”
Unbiased, my ass. At least do some research on the guy’s recent career if you’re going to try to marginalize it. The last two years of this guy’s life, and what he’s been accomplishing during, will amount to more than ANYTHING you could ever be capable of in your entire life. And I think THAT’S what really pisses you off. You feel like you’re WAAAAAY more talented than Smith, but why him? Why, God? When’s it gonna be Dan’s time, lord?!
Never. Enjoy your internet columns, guy.
Go play with your kids, Kevin.
It’s a review, dingle berry. That means he’s supposed to give his /opinion/. By definition, he’s /supposed/ to be biased. ::headdesk::
We grew up. Kevin Smith didn’t.
I lived in Arlington and Davis Square – Comicazi is the best comic shop I have every been to. Ever.
It’s better than mob wives.
I think a true comic shop should have at least one employee or owner that smokes/deals weed. It’s a right of passage for it to be the perfect comic shop. It should also have a aura of failure all around it.
This show was decent, but staged so much it was distracting .I understand there has to be some, but this was ridiculous. It also painted Walt as a clueless moron who doesn’t know anything about collectibles. A guy brings in Megos and a SMDM and Flanagan disregards the Megos. I agree with Dan that has to be because Smith is writing the SMDM comic. Anyone else would know the Megos are more valuable. Toy Hunters had the SMDM figure on their show which aired first and it brings CBM down a notch to me. The lady with the Chucky doll wanted $500 for the Chucky worth $50 at best. Walt offers $100. The guy with the Detective comic and Kane sketch was another gem. A crude Bob Kane sketch is worth 10k according to Walt? The guy with the Dawn Of The Dead stuff was a fool as well. Let’s not look on ebay or Worthpoint for values, lets call Robert Bruce and make the guy wait an hour! Did anyone else find it strange Walt was so concerned about the Gene Colan signature being real? That’s not the issue. Walt never brought up that signature bring the value down on rare comics.
Considering I’m not a Smith fan (he jumped the shark after Mallrats IMO), this show was fun to watch. The flea market scene had some good parts (especially when the plates were being broken). I just find it odd that comic books were barely featured. I think they know they needed another draw as the comic industry alone can’t draw viewers.
I’ll check out future episodes and see where it goes. The trailer of Smith playing street hockey for the next episode isn’t a good sign. I really don’t feel like watching a 350 guy in his 40′s pretend he’s an athlete.
Let’s not look on ebay or Worthpoint for values, lets call Robert Bruce and make the guy wait an hour!
It’s funny, you complain about how staged it was but then appear to actually believe that they called Rob Bruce and then waited around for him. In reality they have these people set up ahead of time, Rob Bruce is right there off camera, and with a few changes of their scummy wardrobes they film all those sequences at once.
I liked the show, but I’m pretty much the target audience since I like the podcast that 3/4ths of the cast do weekly.
I don’t really get why the author seems to be harping on Smith when he makes up very very little of the show. The show is about the people who work at his comic shop, not him. Obviously he’s going to be on camera, facilitating the discussions since he’s a known figure and that’ll obviously attract more viewers but the meat of the show is about the very offbeat people who work there.
You lucky bastard, you have three comic book shops where you live? I have like one that’s all the way in West Palm and I live in freaking Jupiter!
Oh, this show wasn’t that great but they did use the fucking Batman voice so yeah.
Yeah I didn’t make it through the first half hour. I changed the channel after the amazing coincidence that the first guy to walk into the store had a Bob Kane Batman sketch and it became a nerd focused Pawn Stars rip off.
And one of the first topics was, “Which superheroine would you bang?” I was annoyed. It reinforces the idea that all comic book nerds sit in dark rooms pleasuring themselves to drawings of Catwoman.
It reinforces the idea that all comic book nerds sit in dark rooms pleasuring themselves to drawings of Catwoman
This is the same mistake people who hate The Big Bang Theory make. That show, like this one, is not for the geeks it’s for the people like me who shoved those geeks into lockers in high school, who gave them daily swirlies and wedgies. You don’t like this show because you don’t like looking in the mirror.
who is Dan Seitz and Gamma Squad and why do the 50 or so people who read this Blog care about home, it is nearly impossible to find, I realize that “Comic Book men” only had 2.4 million viewers and that……wait it’s cable and 2.4 million viewers is f’n huge. and this blog has what 50 readers, wtf sour grapes ..let’s see Dan Seits do better, Kevin Smith “Boldly going where no “Blimp for NJ” has ever gone” we f’n love Kevin Smith and the Comic book men, and Comic Books , sorry Mr. siets doesn’t get the joke!!
“You’re biased!”
“No, YOU’RE biased!”
- Every comment thread on this page. I hope this saved some of you some time.
I feel the need- the COMPULSION- to say I hate hate HATE Kevin Smith’s fans. The man himself, I can take or leave. He’s said things I’ve laughed at and agreed with; He’s also said things that leave me in awe of how he became famous…But his fans are the biggest bunch of nut grabbing, boot licking, kool aid sipping holier than thou, super sensitive douche bags you will ever encounter. And god help you if you so much as think of a bit of constructive criticism for smitty or else you will incur the wrath of the cult there to protect their messiah. Ive never seen a larger group of people who need jobs, hobbies and girlfriends. He’s a bright guy. But a god, he aint…Get over it.
Ive never seen a larger group of people who need jobs, hobbies and girlfriends.
Usually the guy who says this kind of thing is exactly like that himself.
You could have made this a lot shorter by just including the #1 reason and editing down to the essentials – i.e., you just don’t like that it isn’t about one of the stores you frequent. This is a criticism made by other comic book store owners – *their* store is, of course, much better and the people who work there are much more interesting and intelligent than these guys. Right. Sure. All comic book stores are pretty much the same, at least when it comes to the people. Million Year Picnic even has a picture with what looks like their version of Brian Johnson. I suspect every store has a guy like that, so we see the version who happens to know Kevin Smith. In the end, it should be obvious the reason they made a show about his friends is because of him – those guys who run the stores in your area don’t know anyone famous.
THE SHOW IS A NEW LOW…who wants to watch these fat old guys sitting around talking about COMIC BOOKS ….please…does anyone even read COMIC BOOKS ANYMORE ???
THE SHOW SUCKS BOWANNA BALLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!