Guns N’ Roses — minus legendary guitarists Slash and Duff McKagan — kicked off a world tour in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil on Sunday night, and let’s just say that lead singer Axl Rose looks like he prepared for the tour by eating a Krispy Kreme shop. As Vice put it, Rose was “looking shmoooookin’ while attempting to hide his frame under a banana yellow zoot suit.”
Additionally, Rose didn’t really sound all that good, as evidenced by his anguished-sounding braying of “Mr. Brownstone” in the clip below…
He’s a far cry from the guy below, but that’s what getting old does, right?
And speaking of Duff McKagan, he has a new memoir out today (He’s doing a book signing at The Strand in NYC tonight!) that’s filled with some most excellent GNR-related quotes. My fav, in regards to playing a show at a frat house: “Axl’s assless chaps may have had something to do with our tepid reception. Still, free beer.”
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Appetite For Everything.
Chinese Eatocracy
Sweet Child O’Dine
Mr. Brownscone
Welcome to the buffet. We’ve got ham and ham. We’ve got everything you want. Especially the ham.
Nosh, Nosh, Noshin’ on Heaven’s door.
Sweet Potato Pie of Mine
November Heart Pain.
Dr. Eatgood
You Could Be Swine
Feel my, my, my rice and beans.
Buns N’ Hostess
G N’ R Pies
Right Next Door to Taco Bell
Live and Eat Pie
November Lo Mein
Use Your Asian Fusion 1 & 2
I used to love her, but I had to eat her
Welcome to the Jambalaya
These all sound like song weird al would reject
Rocket Dairy Queen
Mr. Toblerone
(Diabetic shock induced) Coma
Welcome to the Chunckle [Not my joke, but I couldn't resist.]
I remember seeing the “real line up” in 92, this is rubbish
Live and Let Fry
Chinese Delivery
Johnny Rockets Queen
“All we need is just a little Pastries
yeaaaaaaa yeah…
Just a little pastry,
I’ve been walking the streets tonight,
just trying to get some pies
it’s hard to eat with so many around
you know I don’t like being stuffed in a crowd..
I used to love her, but I had to eat her.
Yes I needed
to gain a lot of weight
I needed a piece of pie
some pie to stuff in my face
I come to your buffet
and eat whatever I please
Now give me ham with some GOD. DAMN. GLAZE.
and coat that fucker with cheese AI AI AI AIEEE
aXXXL Rose !!!!!
“I used to do a little, but a little wouldn’t do it, so a little got more and more and more and more…”
= taken from Mr. Browngravy
Sweet Tooth O’ Mine
Putting the heavy in metal.
I think we finally have the answer to the age old question “Where’s Izzy?”
Sugar Smack addiction instead of just smack.
Mr coldstone
I move away from the mic to breathe in
The Spaghetti Incident?
Looks like Axl has entered his 70′s Elvis phase
Welcome to McDonalds, we got burgers with ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-CHEEZE! CHEEZE!!! YUM! Another large milkshake, pleeze!
Welcome To The Drive-thru
It’s So Tasty
Appetite For Degustation
get in the ring dings
Why did they put up a picture of Ronnie Milsap?
More like Appetite for Confection
“Mr. Toblerone” made me laugh uncontrollably at work, good one.
Sick of these fries
Not that you’d care
I’m not the only one
With whom these burgers I share
I’ve been craving Mr. Snowcone
He’s been knockin’
He won’t leave me alone
No, no ,no, he won’t leave me alone
come on…the guy is 49…how do you look at that age? you failed to mention that he played 2 1/2 hours….sure you mention Slash and Duff but you fail to mention Izzy, who started that band with Axl…shows how much you know…
Didn’t sound all that good? Funny, the thousands of screaming fans that paid to be there didn’t seem to have a problem with the way he sounded. Then again maybe they weren’t dumb enough to show up expecting him to sound like he did in 87. What a stupid article. Maybe we can pick on some athletes next that can’t perform the way they did in their prime.
Does a voice change THAT much as you get older? I could care less about all the fat jokes, yes some are funny, but come on! Did he get a voice reduction with his facelift and cheek implants? way to much plastic surgery and he sounded TERRIBLE! Hard to listen to, just awful. very sad. Atleast he’s still alive tho! he might die of a heartattack instead of a drug overdose. When you loose your voice like this which is his instrument, maybe it’s time to let it go.
Neckless Life
Mama Kin Cook
Back off Bitch, that’s my donut
“Take me down to the Paradise Bakery,
where the icing’s green and the cakes are pretty,
I wanna please take it home….”
Maybe Axl was just showing off his Danny Devito Halloween outfit early
Dear God….he looks like the Gorton’s Fisher-pimp.
welcome to our sad reality.. rock stars arent supposed to get old or fat. but we do. so stop being haters,,,,, we all love him. however, cmon , axl, cum to me , and i will help you lose the weight, and i will make you cum , and be a real rockstar again.. you still are awesome….
Welcome to McDonalds, We’ve got shakes and fries… We’ve got Quarter Pounders, We’ve got Apple Pies… just bring yourself inside… come in and have a ball, you can have your picture, with Ronald on the wall, at McDonalds, WELCOME TO MCDONALDS, would you like a happy, mamamamamamamama meal, meal… huhhh, I wanna deal! HWA!!!
Mr. Coldstone.