I’d like to ask you a few questions, UPROXX readers.
1. Did you recently attend a Megadeth/Motorhead show in Chicago?
2. While there did you, by chance, happen to make the acquaintance of a lady with “blue hair” wearing a “silver tube top, fishnets” and “knee high black biker boots?”
3. Did you happen to “raw dog” with this nice lady in the bathroom during the show?
If the answer to all of these questions is “yes,” then you’ve got a baby on the way, my friend. Congrats!
The Craigslist ad in which the blue-haired, black biker boot-wearing lass seeks her paramour has sadly been flagged for removal, but Fuse caught it before it was taken down.
In a post entitled, “Did we hook up at the Megadeth/Motorhead concert? – w4m – 28 (Aragon Ballroom),” an anonymous woman wrote the following post, which is reproduced here in its entirety:
“Me: Blue hair, silver tube top, fishnets, Knee high black biker boots.
You: Red mohawk, black pentagram gauges, viper piercings.I was grinding on you in the pit, then we went to the bathroom, and got f***ed up. You had a nice c**k and I was wasted so I let [you] raw dog it in the stall. You were really good and you had to gag me so I would make too much noise.
Anyway I’m pregnant. It’s yours. contact me if you want to be part of your child’s life.”
If you think this may be you, you can email your now-knocked-up fling at: c9kpp-2948959310@pers.craigslist.org
Good luck!
HT: (AV Club. Motorhead trampstamp pic via Motorhead’s Myspace page)
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everyone knows you’re supposed to pull out when you raw dog randoms in the bathroom. Fucking amateurs.
Kids today….
LOL
He just f*cked the wrong hole. She wasn’t supposed to enjoy it!
She’s also looking for a coat Hangar 18.
I am a terribly person for laughing my ass off at this.
Comment of the year
+1
I need to keep a pee can at my desk now.
If you raw dog it at a Megadeth concert you’re bound to Wake Up Bred.
Whatever your adventure — we’ve got you covered! Yes, we say it for a reason. And, whatever your adventure — there is no reason for this to happen to you.
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perfect timing spambot! You’re gonna be a daddy!
It seems we were too late to save these two…
Best. Spambot. Ever.
based on the description of the parents, baby megadeath fan is gonna have purple hair.
Fucking Midwesterners are almost as slutty as those youths in Asia.
Also, why the hell did she have to let A Tout le Monde know about it?
That’s what I call a Train of Consequences.
Ok, one more I promise:
So it turns out Dave Mustaine doesn’t believe the baby will be legally born in America.
Piece Sells. Haha, just kidding. She gives it away for free.
Peace sells… but who’s birthing?
I hope her uterus isn’t the Space of Aids.
I think the tattoo is nice but the Jack Daniels is Overkill
Yeah, I fucked that chick at that show, but I don’t look like that. I guess I’m not as special as I thought.
Lemmy should get one of his moles on this case.
Oh my, I recognize that tramp stamp
If anybody has ever wanted the burden of parenthood without having sex, better get to the red mohawk store and pick one up – its your moment to shine.
I bet if he ever reads about this he’ll be Sweating Bullets.
It’s Mötörhead, goddammit. Respect the umlauts or Lemmy will punch you in the taint.
This is really a lovely story
Bahah..oh lordy!! (*smacks head!)
We are so FUCKED for the future of this country!! And she sounds so proud…like hey I’m so cool with my tattoo and blue hair (poseur) and spikey blah blah blah….I’m pregnant from fucking a random stranger in the bathroom and I’m gonna tell EVERYONE about it just so I can show off how cool I am…how hardcore and rock and roll I am…
:l really? Now won’t that be a great story to tell the kid someday.
I don’t know why I said all that mean stuff, perhaps just baffled at the way people act today…now I’m feeling all bad for her. God damn effing compassion!! Gets me every time. Sigh….hope she turns it around for the better!!
Just seems all so circus like. Today. Everything.
You know what BerthaBlaster, you brought me a little joy by making me think of this. The day’s not a total loss.
…and then the midget on top broke wind!
God Bless America…Who do you think was more smashed, the now-pregnant Megadeth lunatic, or this guy?
[cubetitans.com]
Least he didn’t get knocked up in a bathroom stall
Interestingly enough, Ryan Gosling was conceived in the john at a Chicago AC/DC-Motorhead double bill in 1980.
Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a Nicleback concert.
Coming is my business… and Business is Good.
Whew, I was worried there for a moment until I remembered that I hooked up with her in the bathroom stall at the Anthrax/Anvil gig a week later. She should really change up her routine as I thought we shared something special.
Forgot to add to her description… “with a Huge CROOKED Tramp Stamp”
Times have changed since we used to go to shows in the 80′s. At least me and my crew made it backstage.
The 80′s were so elitist, only rockstars got to raw dog at shows. Now with the internet (or whatever), anyone can do it. Progress.
It ain’t over yet. Now she will have to figure out which of the fourteen replies is the most likely to start with the DNA tests. Babydaddy can’t be just any guy in a red mohawk, y’know.
Couldn’t be mine, I deliberately remember busting my load all over that tramp stamp…
This chic is great.Brings back memories of concerts that I went to back in the day.My wife loved watching me bang chicks in bar bathrooms at smaller shows…Glad to see there are still some fun chicks out there..
Blue hair momma, red mohawk daddy….she olis going to give birth to a TELETUBBY! (Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La-La, Po and Introducing the newest Teletubby your mommas a HO!!!)
The ace of spayed
sadly, she wasnt. if she has this kid, wtf is she gonna tell this kid when he/she asks about the daddy? and here we were all making fun of Snooki….
Planned Parenthood has a solution for her. He, meanwhile, joined the Marines for the free haircut and a guarantee that he won’t be within a 1000 miles of her in the next 4 years.
Check the fetal midichlorians before you do anything final.
Mom?
I expect that Jack Daniels bottle to soon have a nipple put on it. For the baby and all…
hope she wasn’t wearing fuck me pumps…with all that action, she might have slipped and chipped her tooth on the toilet tank. wouldn’t it be a laugh if it turned out to be a guy named jack daniels?
Dude, ON her not IN her. With a tramp stamp like that, how could you miss the target?
Blue haired mohawk baby boy, death to Obama tattoos on his knuckles, Walmart aisle 9. Answers to the name AnalAce. Please come claim your baby boy, he just pickaxed a child in a black stoller.
that’s hysterical! i hope it wasn’t this guy: [cubetitans.com]
What the fuck is this bitch, a succubus?. A banshee? She said “…you had to gag me so I would[sic] make too much noise.” This isn’t an Enya or Bobby McFarrin concert. This is an ear-bleeding, glass breaking, head-bangin’ Megadeath and Mötörhead blow out! There’s no way she’s going to be heard more than five feet away from her cock-holster, no matter how loud she screams. I call shenanigans.
OH SHITT, JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!!
He coulda put that “nice c*ck” in one of her other two places and not have to worry about knocking the bitch up! Further, in one of the places he could’ve REALLY “gagged” her to stop her from making any noise!
You know this guy was bragging about this to all his friends after the show… He probably still talks about it… Until today when he tells the story again and the person pulls up this article. Ain’t that a bit**!
what a dumb b****!!! nice tramp stamp me personally, i woulda stuck to a Steel Panther show, found some way to get backstage to get it on with Satchel, made sure there was a condom involved, and I’m sterile anyway so all my bases are covered. instead of posting on Craigslist, i coulda posted on the SP Facebook fan page and said *thanks*. if you’re gonna be a sl*t, do it responsibly…
Omg I was there were u that girl in the grinding on me and ended up have good sex if its relly u the same girl ill e there fore the kid