Enter The Metallica Shoe That Will Play A Clip Of Lars Ulrich Speaking With Every Step

Imagine, if you will, a Metallica shoe. What do you see? Maybe a shoe made out of fire and lightning, or possibly a shoe that’s awesome at first, then slowly gets crappier and crappier, to the point where you buy a new copy of the old shoe because you can’t bear listening to, I mean, wearing the late-era version anymore? Or something like that. Well, soon the Metallica shoe will become a reality, courtesy of Vans.

The limited-edition Vans x Metallica 20th Anniversary Half Cab Pro is made of all-black, heavy-duty canvas and suede and features lyrics on the side and a clear rubber sole with Kill ‘Em All album artwork.

“I’ve been wearing Vans on stage my whole freakin’ career (and way before that!),” said Metallica bassist Rob Trujillo in a statement. “Whether I’m walking the streets of Venice or San Francisco, Vans provides the funk in my stride!” (Via)

If the use of the word “funk” in a press release about a Metallica shoe from the band’s bassist isn’t upsetting enough, do tread on this for a moment:

The shoes are the first in an upcoming three-tier release schedule. In January 2013, Vans will unveil the “Passion Projects” line, featuring designs from each band member (including Lars Ulrich’s shoe that plays clips of him speaking with each step).Then, in March, Vans and Metallica will celebrate the 30th anniversary of Kill ‘Em All with artwork emblazoned on Vans’ Classic Slip-On and the Sk8-Hi shoes. (Via)

Emphasis mine. Lars rarely sings (here’s a cover of “Am I Evil?” if you’re wondering what he sounds like), so I’m hoping his clips will be angry mumbles and incomprehensible Danish that translates to, “May the serpents of Hell suck out your souls and shed them into Satan’s Book of the Damned. And oh yeah, BUY OUR SHOE.”

(Via Consequence of Sound)