Use the red Angry Bird!
The above picture looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time. The Sun posted an article about Gorillas getting iPads to “aid alertness” during zoo captivity. The article included several photoshops of cute Gorillas using iPads, making it the only April Fools’ Day “joke” I’ve seen so far this year which wasn’t the unfunny internet equivalent of flinging feces. Wait, scratch that. At least throwing feces is sometimes funny, unlike most online April Fools’ gags. I’m looking at you, Woot.
Facebook Facebook Facebook AAAAAH!
Just last week Facebook’s stock price in the secondary market just rose to $34, raising the total value of the company to a $85 billion valuation. It was valued at $50 billion in January and $65 to $75 billion just last month. Now Wedbush Securities analyst Lou Kerner predicts Facebook will earn an $11 billion net profit on $22 billion gross earnings in 2015. He predicts Facebook will be worth $234 billion in 2015. Currently, Apple is the only tech company worth more ($321 billion). Why a prediction $234 billion instead of an even $235 billion? Because “235″ sounds so much more fake than “234″.
Facebook has fired (or asked for the resignation of) an employee for buying some of those secondary market shares. Well-liked corporate development manager Michael Brown recently left the company allegedly due to share purchases he made last year. It should be noted it’s very unlikely Brown knew about the Goldman Sachs investment which raised the company’s value to $50 billion when he bought his shares, as he purchased them in September 2010, long before the Goldman Sachs deal. There doesn’t appear to be anything about his timing that would indicate insider trading, and Facebook is technically not a publicly traded company yet, so Brown didn’t violate any federal laws. However, Facebook’s internal rules forbid employees from buying any company shares on the secondary market. But who can resist? It’s like they’re dipped in chocolate and crack.
- At least one of two home invasion suspects in Charlotte, North Carolina should be easy to find, as they left behind a T-shirt which says “making money is my thang” next to a photograph of the suspect’s face. Kids these days. Back in my day they left their wallets at the scene. (FoxCharlotte)
- Police in Kaliningrad, Russia demonstrate exactly how not to catch a raccoon. (video at Asylum, but it’s sadly lacking in Yakety Sax)
- A Home Owners Association in Edgewater, Florida is voting on a rule to ban children playing outside in the neighborhood, imposing a $100 fine for anyone younger than 18 found playing outdoors unaccompanied by an adult. How’s that childhood obesity problem doing down there, Florida? (ClickOrlando)
KNOW YOUR STATS
- What do women really think about their Facebook friends? Really catty things, of course. (Mashable, picture via EpicPonyz)
- There are now 29 different social networks garnering at least one million unique visitors each day. Facebook is still on top with 310 million daily unique visitors. Twitter is in fourth place with 22 million, LinkedIn at sixth with 8 million, and MySpace still clinging at twelfth with four million users, who are all lovely people we’re sure. (full list at RoyalPingdom)
- Here are a couple infographics about April Fools’ Day, the greatest holiday of the year. Just kidding, April Fools! Oh, ha ha, isn’t that just breezy and hilarious and not at all a waste of everyone’s time? April Fools’ is so great. (SocialCast, VisualLoop)