Olympic gold medalist and guy who trademarked the word “JEAH”, Ryan Lochte turned 28-years old on August 3, which was almost 8 weeks ago, and that’s important to remember because he was the guest of honor at Liv in Miami this past weekend, as he celebrated his birthday. At some point Locthe morphed into a sorority girl turning 21, because even if the excuse is that he didn’t have a real birthday because he was in London, that’s BS, because by all accounts the 2012 Summer Olympics was one giant orgy.
The aspiring actor even got behind the turntables (read: a bro’s Air Mac) to play DJ at his own party, but the big news is that he made a new best bro in Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino. Is anyone on this planet even surprised at this point?
Turns out Lochte took his own advice and did party at Liv “all night” says our source, where he “shot the CO2 gun all over The Situation, who had an instant bromance with him. The two hung out all night after having their pick of model-like girls rushing over to both of them all night.” Uh, jeah? (Via the Miami Herald)
Lochte also became fast friends with Kim Kardashian’s supposed best friend Jonathan Cheban, and I’m very happy to say that I have no idea who that is. My pop culture stomach can only be fed so much before it vomits all over the place.
In other Lochte news, while on the red carpet for the Emmys, Tina Fey revealed his role in an upcoming episode of 30 Rock. He’s going to play a moron, or as Tina called him, a “sex idiot”. This is why I love her, because even when she’s being (presumably) forced to do something, Tina still finds a way to make fun of it.
I want more like this!
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