Now that oft-malfunctioning robot Mitt Romney has effectively fended off the various insane people who were running against him for the Republican presidential nomination, attention has turned to the burning question every presidential candidate faces once he or she reaches the plateau Romney now finds himself on: who will be chosen to be the running mate.

I'm not sure what Herman Cain has been up to since a cavalcade of women he'd boned or tried to bone came forward to torpedo his comical presidential campaign, but it looks like he's back, baby.

Last night on his show, Stephen Colbert announced "with a heavy heart and a spastic colon" that he was ending his "campaign" for the Republican presidential nomination after he and Herman Cain pulled in 1% of the vote in South Carolina over the weekend -- good enough for 5th place in the state.

Oh man.

Last night on the Daily Show Jon Stewart shared some insight into how his daily life has changed since he took over operations of the super PAC started by Stephen Colbert: In addition to running ads accusing Mitt Romney of being a serial killer, Stewart has taken to wearing a jeweled crown allegedly once owned by Elizabeth Taylor, along with bringing in Mario Batalli to be his personal chef.

As the icons of journalistic integrity at People magazine have taught us, limiting an annual award to just one person can be a dangerous task.

As you may have heard, former crap pizza peddler and straight-up pimp Herman Cain mercifully "suspended" his hilarious circus of presidential campaign on Saturday.

FYI, you guys, there's a hot new comedy website out there.

If you are, like me, a fan of the the Daily Show, then you probably thought "I can't wait to see what Jon Stewart does with this" the minute you heard that Herman Cain was involved in yet ANOTHER sex scandal, this time the revelation of a 13-year affair.