Kreayshawn released an album this week that practically no one bought — but she doesn't own the record that no one wants. A human disaster does.

In the event you haven't heard of her, Kitty Pryde is kind of the new Kreayshawn -- a white girl rapper who's rapid ascent can be directly attributed to her looks and the internet -- minus the ridiculously over-the-top "urban" persona.

As you may have noticed, we go out of our way around these parts to ignore anything and everything concerning that awful Kreayshawn person -- except for when Rick Ross threatens to fart on her -- lest we feel inclined to stab our eardrums with an ice pick, but this was too amusing for me to pass up on the way out of Tuesday's door: "Speak," the guy who ghostwrote Kreayshawn's breakout musical abomination, "Gucci Gucci," is still living the starving artist life while she gets rich.

Remember "Obama Girl," that semi-talented cutie who took the internet by storm in 2008 with her YouTube hit, "I've Got a Crush On Obama?" Well, meet "Candy Rapper" and "Double K" -- who have a message for you: "Yeah bitches, it's Perry in 2012.

In my brief time as editor around these parts, I have done everything humanly possible to avoid the mere mention of Kreayshawn's name, mainly because the mere mention of Kreayshawn's name inspires me to stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a toothpick.