Did you know that UPROXX favorite Mila Kunis was dating frequent UPROXX punchline Ashton Kutcher? I didn’t! But I do now after seeing pics of the two making out in Central Park — ERRRRR, Mila kissing Ashton while Ashton played with his phone.
Ashton, we feel for you, bro. Mila is — how can we put this? — just so damn clingly. We’ve been there. There you are just wanting to check your @ replies from teenage girls in Nebraska on Twitter and all she wants to do is make love to your face with her tongue while she runs her hands all over your body. So. Annoying. Not to mention gross.
Ashton Kutcher has better things to do with the precious time he has with his smartphone in moments like this. Here are 5 of them.
5. Liking the UPROXX Facebook page.
4. Following UPROXX on Twitter.
3. Checking out the newish UPROXX mobile site.
2. Emailing tips to the UPROXX editors at tips at uproxx dot com.
1. Checking out the cool new UPROXX commenting system features, like the ability to follow and message other commenters, not to mention all the amazing new default avatars that have been created for users.
I mean, who could blame him, after all? OR YOU FOR THAT MATTER?!?! (See what I did there?)
(Pic via)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/41/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Zooey-Deschanel-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/louis-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/mila-kunis-bbc-interview-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/mila-kunis-russian-conan-150x150.jpg)
Less attempts at being funny. More pictures of Mila Kunis.
After looking at that picture, I immediately headbutted my computer.
I’ve got like four followers already! AND I’VE BURNED LIKE 10 CDS! Great party!
As if we didn’t have enough reasons to hate this douchebag already. Mila freaking Kunis is making more of an effort to kiss her man than most women do, and he’s checking his cell phone. Something that should be a punishable crime in this country.
If possessing a varying degree of weed can get you charged with “Intent to sell”, then douche moves like this while dating someone as hot as Mila Kunis should get you charged with “Insufferable to the human race” or something.
hate hate hate
He’s right there with the Kardashians as far as talent. He’s not funny and serves no real purpose.
Mila’s fallen behind that other micro-mini chick that looks just like her. Dating Ashton Kutcher totally negates simulated cunilingus with Natalie Portman.