Any story that comes from the National Enquirer automatically gets an asterisk, but this one is too fun to pass up: Paula Deen, Food Network’s symbol of American dietary excess, supposedly has Type 2 diabetes, a secret she’s hidden from fans while touting her butter- and sugar-laden recipes.
According to the National Enquirer, friends of the 64-year-old said she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes several years ago, yet continues to tout exactly the type of butter or sugar rich high-fat recipes that bring on diabetes.
She is said to be under doctor’s orders to steer clear of the foods…
The source said: ‘At first she resisted doctor’s orders to drastically change her diet, but eventually she realised that if she didn’t it would put her into an early grave.’ [Daily Mail]
Aw, I wouldn’t want Paula Deen to go to her grave early due to diabetes. But I think there might be some entertainment value if she lost a hand to the disease. She could get a prosthetic attachment with different devices, like an egg whisk and a butter knife. We could rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first bionic chef. Paula Deen will be that chef. Fatter than she was before. Fatter… hungrier… butter.
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