Oh Honey, No.

This past December I discussed the plight of the poor girl from the horrific Education Connection commercials. Mainly I felt for her, given the embarrassment she must feel every time that God-awful ad comes on. Well I’ve got good news for her. We have a new leader in the embarrassing commercial department: the young lady from the Certain Dri deodorant commercials, pictured above.

The entire premise of the commercials is how sweaty this girl is, as evidenced by her first line in part one of the saga. (Yes, part one. Implying more parts. Which there are. I know.) She approaches an attractive young man at a fancy gathering and announces, “Are you sweaty?! I am!” The gentleman then explains that he is a doctor, and therefore is not sweaty because he is aware of the magical antiperspirant, Certain Dri. To which our slimy damsel in distress replies, “Very cool.” (In part two we find out they are living happily ever after together. The lesson: doctors love sweaty chicks.) As horribly written and acted as these spots are, that is not the issue here. The issue here is this:

Oh, honey. No. Nononononononono. No.

I understand getting into acting is hard. And I imagine you can become pretty desperate to get your face on TV in the hopes you’ll get your big break. But for the love of God, think things through. Do you really want to be known as “that really sweaty lady in the ball gown”? Ugh, I feel terrible for her. And to make matters worse, these commercials are running, like, all morning in my area. Non-stop reminders of what a sweaty mess she is. It’s like a train wreck where one train is carrying a nuclear bomb and the other is full of anthrax. And I can’t look away.

Parts I and II of the Certain Dri doctor saga after the jump