Should Be Looked at: Sloan. Can't Stop Staring at: Turtle's sweater vest.
Google “entourage douchebag” and a link from Warming Glow appears third on the search list. That is unacceptable: this should be the foremost website for pointing out the douchebaggery on TV’s douchiest show, “Entourage,” which premieres for its eighth and final season this Sunday on HBO.
With that in mind, and with the wonderful thought of the show finally being off the air after seven years and approximately five clever jokes, here are the 10 biggest douchebag moments from “Entourage.”
10. Mark Wahlberg’s Ego.
Unsurprisingly, “Entourage” is based on a douchey concept. According to executive producer Mark Wahlberg, “My assistant wanted to film my friends around me, because he just thought it was hilarious.” AREN’T MY FRIENDS AND I JUST THE LIVING END? I’ve always thought of “Entourage” as the most taunting show in TV history. Shallow Hollywood jagoffs can get all the free booze, drugs, and booty they want, simply because they’re either good looking or once starred in the 1988 remake of The Blob, while the rest of us Joe and Jill Student Loans have to pay for bad beer and even worse sex. “Entourage” shows us what we’re missing, and rubs our faces in their asses that have never felt the horrific touch of $.69 toilet paper. And Wahlberg’s quote does nothing to disprove this.
9. The Seth Rogen Controversy.
Why mess with Seth Rogen? He’s supposedly one of the nicest, most normal guys in Hollywood, and his TV show and movie track record is pretty damn flawless. Yet, in 2009, Turtle wondered how Rogen’s character bagged and bedded Katherine Heigl’s Alison in Knocked Up, a film that had come out two years earlier. And by the time the episode aired, it was well known that Rogen had dropped a ton of weight for his upcoming role in Funny People. If you want to make fun of someone for being fat, whatever—it’s an easy joke, but fair game. But at least do to it in a timely manner and to someone who’s actually deserving of chubby scorn. (Rogen’s response to the comments: “Yeah, those guys are assh*les…Luckily I never have and never plan on watching “Entourage.”) Also, fat people shouldn’t make fun of other fat people. So f**k you, Turtle.
[Editor's note: "Entourage" creator Doug Ellin notably didn't respond to Rogen calling him an assh*le -- until there was a new season to promote. That's when he undercut Rogen by saying that he had considered Rogen for the role of Turtle. And for what it's worth, the original Knocked Up dig probably had something to do with Rogen talking candidly about HBO passing on a similar project of his before picking up "Entourage" -- "You start to question your own sanity. Like, ‘Our HBO pilot isn’t funny, but Entourage is?’"]
8. LeBron James, Humble Hipster Philanthropist
Whiny bitch Vincent makes $20 million a year, but he has to be convinced by LeBron James — sporting a pair of fake hipster glasses that would make even Terry Richardson feel like an ass — to give more than $10,000 to a charity for children (LeBron is donating a million). This all occurs in front of Vincent’s private jet that he’s flying to Italy, and shortly after Bono briefly appeared in a webcam cameo. It’s like the writers want us to hate the show. Other notable douchetastic guest stars: Tom Brady, James Cameron, Paul Haggis, Brett Ratner, M. Night Shyamalan, Jay Leno, and Lenny Kravitz.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/679/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mfcjjiUneJ1r7qi9eo1_400-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/larry-david-looks-super-weird-in-the-trailer-for-his-new-hbo-movie-uproxx-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Screen-Shot-2013-05-20-at-10.57.17-AM-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/games-of-thrones-season-3-second-sons-gif-recap-150x150.jpg)
This list could go on forever if you didn’t limit to a “top ten” list.
Best Article Ever Written.
i thought the doucheist moments were from open to closing credits every episode.
Yeah I bet you like it in the ass too. Fag
Google “entourage douchebag” and a link from Warming Glow appears third on the search list.
Look at the bright side: we’re #1 for ‘franklin and bash recap’ (without quotes).
(*rubs apple on lapel, takes giant smug bite*)
5. This scene.
Pause the video at 35 seconds and try not to punch your computer.
I remember when some ABC News guy had asked Jaime-Lynn Sigler how unbelievable it was for a girl like her to date some douche like Turtle, when in fact she really was dating Turtle in real life.
I don’t really know where I was going, but Jaime-Lynn Sigler is hot.
I’m with The Hammer on this. Josh, how difficult was it to narrow this list down to ten? I imagine it must have been a painstaking process trying to limit it like that.
I watched the 1st season of Entourage and I recall an episode where Turtle was searching for shoes that had graffiti sprayed on them by some Japanese guy. They sold out and Turtle was sad so Vince bought him a pair for like $20,000 and once again peace is restored in Turtle’s world.
Who cares? If you don’t like it don’t watch it. I don’t make of your Hannah Montana Criterion Collection Blu ray.
Just leave alone with my dreams.
Truth be told, I was kinda into this show until the airport episode where vince & the bros couldn’t get a flight to Cannes and just when it looked like they weren’t gonna go at all, fuckin’ Kanye West pops out of nowhere and offers to fly them out on his private soul plane stocked with bitches and henny. If the writing was any more lazier, it’d be an ed hardy commercial.
If you don’t like it don’t watch it.
Done and done.
I echo Turtle’s sentiment on Knocked Up. I may well be a douche but thank Jobu I don’t look or sound like that pantload.
Honorable mention for being pitched but not making the show: They tried to have a scene in which Turtle receives a text and it’s a photo of a dick, and then Anthony Weiner appears and asks if he got the text.
Why is “Entourage” even a thing when you have to pay for HBO?? It’s like going to a fancy restaurant and ordering meatloaf, except that would ruin the good name of meatloaf.
There are only four of us?
fuck! fuck entourage and fuck whoever decided to let this dreck on the air for so long…it’s like a douche fantasy that never ends
@GiantCrab
I remember that episode, and not only were the sneakers $20,000 but they were a one of a kind pair that was special-made by the Japanese guy JUST FOR TURTLE!
Entourage: All the opulence of “Sex and the City” with smaller words.
“Look at the bright side: we’re #1 for ‘franklin and bash recap’ (without quotes).”
I’d lead my resume’ with that, if I were you, DG.
“Hannah Montana Criterion Collection Blu ray”
Oh Lance, such a product does not even exist! LOL!
Entourage is a great show! If you pretend it’s such a genius satire that even the main actors aren’t aware of it.
This was a fun post…except now my eyes are bleeding because I just read a post about Entourage.
Re: “Douchtastic guest stars”
The athletes alone are far and away the douchiest people money can buy. Case in point: Phil Mickelson.
Entourage is a show which has funny moments, and a lot of douchebaggery, as the article points out. It took HBO’s concept of mediocre comedy mixed with titties, and made it more realistic than Dream On. Instead of Brian BenBen banging a bunch of hot chicks, it’s about Mark Wahlberg.
I watch Entourage, but I do so while flipping through my smart phone, which I’m told is the hipster way of feigning interest.
I will also say that Matt Damon played his part hilariously in the Lebron episode.
@Danger, Warming’s also on the front page for “worst TV episodes” and “lobster dog.”
@Hee Moy, the whole thing with Jamie-Lynn creeped me out because Turtle looks A LOT like A.J. Soprano.
I know I’m going to upset people with this fact, but Peter Dinklage, Tyrion from GoT, made a cameo early on in this show.
was a pretty great post until you pandered to women at the end.
The Ten Douchiest Moments in “Entourage” History?
Isn’t that like The Ten Wettest Drops in the Ocean?
I WANNA BE YOUR SUPERHERO!!!!!
YEAH YEAH
Can we replace “once starred in the 1988 remake of The Blob” to ‘once had supporting role in HBO original move No Escape’?
Good job Josh.
What I don’t understand about this show the most is the inclusion of Kevin Dillon. How does he ever get laid? How is it that they hang around with him? He looks like that actor who plays hellboy. And those hats he wears. I think i’m going to be sick.
@Upstate, there have been some awesome celebrities on Entourage (Dinklage, of course, but also Aaron Sorkin, Anna Faris, Peter Jackson, Gary Busey, Larry David, Matt Damon, and very briefly and randomly, Jim Edmonds), and that doesn’t bother me. Vince is an actor, E and Ari are in The Business (as Nikki Finke would say, followed by TOLDJA), and the show’s set in California; it’d be weird if there weren’t famous people. But the cameos hit a tipping point last season when they crammed over 40 celebrities into 10 episodes. Not even later-era Simpsons episodes are that desperate.
If the show ends with them holding hands while driving their car off a cliff, all will be forgiven.
Love the juxtaposition of Jen’s picture with child and the morbid yearning for death in her comment.
I got nothing to add except that Entourage is basically Dianetics for even bigger douchebags.
You’ve really helped me see the light here…these guys are total d**k-heads. And not one of them is even mildly attractive (not like that needed to be pointed out).
Searies finale prediction:
E: Vince we’re all worried about your drug use.
Drama: Yeah, bro, if my career will ever go anywhere I’ll need you here to help me.
Turtle: **smokes joint while cleaning shoes**
Vince: Guys, it’s ALRIGHT, I’ve seen the light, I’m done with coke….and pornstars.
***Random rap song plays making you reflect on seasons past**
Roll Credits.
Yeah, oh yeah!!!
That’s all fine and dandy but we all know there is going to be at least 2 movies made after this pile of shit known as a TV show is over with.
“Rogen had dropped a ton of weight for his upcoming role in Funny People. If you want to make fun of someone for being fat, whatever—it’s an easy joke, but fair game.”
Not for nothing, but your previous — I mean, directly below this — also capitalizes on making fun of Butterbean’s weight. So…..yeah.
I agree with the list, but, I guess what I’m trying to say is, congratulations on behaving like an “Entourage” writer?
Going to toot my horn as douchey as possible and announce I’ve never seen 1 continuous minute of this show and have had HBO for the last decade
I was a frat bro too and it still made my eyes sting from a commercial for the show
Look at that fucking picture, after thousands of auditions they had to have picked the 5 most pathetic fragile whitest cunts in all of Hollywood. Fuck watching a video I can’t look at a picture for more than 15 seconds goddamn it! Goddamn it
I’m rooting for a human centipede finale.
“Rogen had dropped a ton of weight for his upcoming role in Funny People. If you want to make fun of someone for being fat, whatever—it’s an easy joke, but fair game.”
Not for nothing, but your previous — I mean, directly below this — also capitalizes on making fun of Butterbean’s weight. So…..yeah.
I agree with the list, but, I guess what I’m trying to say is, congratulations on behaving like an “Entourage” writer?
Check the bylines: those are articles by two different people. And seeing as how Josh’s quibble with the gag is NOT the weight joke but the lack of timeliness, the Butterbean post is fair game since that dude is still orca fat.
So, before you go saying that someone is acting like an “Entourage” writer, I’d suggest that you (A) check your facts, and (B) work on your reading comprehension.
Heddard, there is no “was a frat bro”. See above posts on tooting one’s own horn on a post about Entourage, which you never saw because of your crappy eyes.
Commando I don’t mind if you call me a fucking moron who sucks fat drippy cunt, but don’t ever imply I’ve watched Entourage
@charliework
I would not want to mess with a former Marine…even one that blogs for a living…the toughest of all professions.
Good list… except, it doesn’t matter what you believe about the show or in life, how is #3 anti-semitic. Its incredibly selfish and insensitive toward humanity, but in no way is it anti-semitic. The fact that Koufax happens to be Jewish does not change their opinion at all. Its like saying someone is anti-American for not liking Fords.
Great show and sad to see it end. How did all of you clowns post during your warcraft time?
Is it possible to punch a TV show? After watching all these clips, I actually want to punch “Entourage” over and over while cursing incoherently and crying until someone finally makes me stop.
*fondly remembers Ralphie fight scene from “A Christmas Story”*
Apparently Comcast has bought the syndication rights for this steaming pile of narcissistic smegma for its own basic cable channel…which means it’s time to start reading again.
I’m a douche bag and I read this blog.
The only thing douchier than entourage is this little column. Entourage is a show full of assholes, we get it. It seems as though a blog based on snarky, asshole writing wouldn’t get its panties in such a wad about a relatively insignificant tv show.
Rupert, we can’t play warcraft at work.
The douchiest moment in most blogs history?
Making top 10 lists.
@Stark the problem is that they picked those five douches because they are pretty physically representative of the giant mass of human excrement in Hollywood.
Oh, and I’m still hung up on the LeBron thing. “Our stars are miserable, selfish piece of crap. And you idiots love us for it even when they are being implored to show a shred of human decency by the likes of LeBron f*cking James.”
>He’s supposedly one of the nicest, most normal guys in Hollywood, and >his TV show and movie track record is pretty damn flawless.
The only thing worse than that douchey show is your ass kissing.
Dumpy, dull, unfunny fuck… having Rogen be successful with so little talent is like…. Turtle having it instead.
Having you protect Rogen’s ass makes me think youd wanna fuck it instead you jock sniffing fudgepacker.
I feel dirty just having to sort of defend this show indirectly (agreeing with them about Rogen means nothing) but my friend made me watch that LeBron and Bozo-the-Bush-bootlicker episode and im surprise that the combination of those two anal warts/poseurs AND this show didnt tear the fabric of space-time.
If he is based on Mark Wahlberg how come Justin Chase was never in a boyband called Vincey Vince and the Groovy Gang or something?
These posts are even more hysterical than the article ripping into this eye-gougingly awful show! Ive said it once, and I’ll say it again-if these fat, goofy, loser dorks can get laid in Hollyweird, Im fucking EVERYBODY!
I would contend that Wahlberg’s Ari Gold is more of an anti-Semitic caricature than Veit Harlan’s Jud Süß.
Yes, but so is the dick he is based on.
….before I finished reading the article….I would have sworn that the douchiest part of the show was going to be the presentment of “Vinnie Chase” as a great looking heart-throb actor…..
What is it with the trolls and why are they so angry about not being allowed to breast feed anymore?
you forgot about the scene where vince and the gang all jack each other off at the end of each episode. Afterward they tickle each others choads
“3. Selfishness Bordering on Anti-Semitism.”
Lol?
I like this show and most of these posts are out of jealous douchebags themselves. Entourage makes millions of dollars, how much are you making dumping from the mouth your personal opinions of a hit show? Enjoy your ugly women and shit box cars douchebags!
Yeah…this show blows. I also fast-forwarded through almost all of Turtle’s scenes last season so I have no idea what’s going on with him..
I’m a fan of this site and like most of your work, but this entire thing sounds a little desperate and you kinda look like a fool. Anybody that labels another guy a “douche” because he’s good looking, makes a lot of money, and gets a lot of pussy, is not only probably jealous, but most likely has always been a nerd who sits at home writing blogs about perceived “douchbagery,” ergo definitely not making money and must definitely not getting pussy. In fact chances are this “Josh” would give his left nut to be any one of these so-called “douches” just to be rid of his meaningless and glamorous-free life. Josh you probably would embrace the title of “douche” just to replace the thrill you got from this blog with the excitement that comes from having a 3-some with 2 supermodels or playing golf with NFL players. If you really blow at a game, I suggest you not hate the players that are out doing you but the game itself. Get of the internet and make something of yourself cause this kinda shit is sad.
I don’t get how anybody can put so much effort in writing all the negative sides in a show he doesn’t like. You must have too much time on your hands buddy. Basically, the show is a satire-comedy, about “the business”. How many people would watch this show if it was politically correct and there were only good guys on the show? Stop being so fucking serious about it all and just enjoy it for what it is – or don’t – either way the show is a success and it will continue to be a success even when the show stops airing.
All of you low-life, stuck up, whining sons of bitches, who are all of a sudden expert television critics, can suck my dick, and watch their Hannah Montana blu-ray collection. And who ever wrote this article is a dumb-ass retard who obviously never watched entourage.
I couldn’t have said it better. Whoever wrote this deserves to get their dick sucked daily and fantastically because they are brilliant.
The above comment is referring to the author of the article, not the guy before me begging to get his dick sucked.
@rachel – but the placement of those two comments had you looking brilliant for your irony….
WOW! That’s a lot of negetive energy for people that don’t likesemi watch the show. That’s why we have hundreds of stations to choose our crap we watch from.
I personally LOVE the show, it makes me laugh because it displays THE FLAWS of celebrity, are you folks missing that? There’s plenty of shows that anyone could pick apart, I don’t dig on “Desperate Housewives” but you won’t hear me talking smack about because: I DON’T WATCH IT! And who am I to tell folks that enjoy it that it sucks???
Nah the show isn’t always P.C. but life isn’t P.C. is it? Are the characters the most stand up individuals? Nah, but either are we or are friends and family sometimes. Life’s not perfect and shows aren’t perfect (Except for “The Wire”;) But the characters share The Bond of Brotherhood, who if they MADE IT BIG wouldn’t want their friends and family to experience it? Bottom line, it makes me laugh and along with “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is a GREAT way to say goodbye to the weekend and hello to Monday.
Thanks Entourage!
P.S. I probably won’t go see the movies though, I’ll wait for DVD;)
@Cimi93x – First off, actually I’ve watched a great deal of this late-term abortion called a TV show, and I have to say I agree wholeheartedly with this list. Sure, it was entertaining to watch with my roommates, the way Sex and the City is entertaining for girls to watch while drinking Rolling Rock and wishing that someday they’ll be sipping fancy cocktails and wearing fancy shoes and getting banged by fancypants rich guys. But Entourage is definitely not a “good” TV show in any way.
Second, Josh is that you? What did I tell you about dicking around on the internet when you have a math test tomorrow? Just wait until your mother and me come home. And don’t even think about playing XBox instead of doing your homework.
douchiest article ever .. if it was so bad, you should’ve stopped watching instead of noting all the supposedly bad bits of every episode .. you guys seem to’ve had one of the most successful humor & irony bypasses ever – congratulations douchebags.
You list the points like the Lebron James cameo, & listing them you didn’t even think hey there’s so much they must be doing it on purpose? Could this possibly be part of the joke? Seriously …
What next, a shocking list of the 10 most sexist moments from the blond one in how I met your mother??
This article sucks. Are you kidding me douchiest moments in entourage? Whoever wrote this sounds like a fuckin fagot and deserves to get fucked in the ass and then he can write an article about top 10 ways to get ass fucked.
What this writer passes off as wit is far douchier than anything served up by the Entourage gang. Does he understand that the show is a comedy? Does he understand that in comedies, the characters cannot behave like perfect little politically correct models of working-class virtue? If they were role models, they wouldn’t be funny. Entourage is a good satire of Hollywood. Rather than be angry at a depiction of celebrity privilege, perhaps direct your scorn at how our society spoils these people. This site fawns over celebs, thus feeding the very public relations system that turns entertainers into a stratospherically high caste of untouchables.
And ohhh boy, to read all of this politically correct white knighting is enough to make me want to apply feminine cleansing products to my eyes. Apologizing for your gender, dude? Seriously? This kind of crap is not going to get you a career in writing, Josh. It won’t get you laid either, at least not with the kind of girl who would not punish you dearly for it afterwards.