Echoing the example set by NFL wide receiver Plaxico Burress, an Arizona man shot himself in the groin while tucking a pistol into his waistband, thus creating the impetus for this enlightening local news segment from ABC15. Reporter Corey Rangel gives us all the important details, like how the gun is pink and belongs to the man’s girlfriend, and that the
bullet went through the man’s penis. More importantly, Rangel sought out local citizens for some of the most enlightening man-on-the-street interviews you’ll ever see. This is pretty much how half of the news report goes:
Rangel: Tell me, sir, do you think getting shot in the penis would hurt?
Every guy interviewed: Ouch! Oh yeah.
Rangel: You heard it here first, folks: local men don’t like the idea of getting shot in the genitals. Back to you, Kevin.
Someone alert the Pulitzer board, because Corey Rangel’s got that ish wrapped up. And get me the Arizona Tourism Commission on the phone, too — I’ve got a new slogan for them. “Arizona: like Texas, but without the charm or intellect.”
(thanks to Vince for the tip)



No “tags?” I think “ouch my dick” might work.
So he shot himself in the pink pistol, WITH a pink pistol?
/Braahhm and whatnot
You could tell the cop was using every once of his being not to start giggling.
Later, after the interview, he set a record for most papers requested.
Great work here by Corey. Sometimes a reporter doesn’t dig deep enough to get you you the nitty gritty details like whether it was just satchel or got a ball or went through the penis. Top notch reporting, ABC15. You’ve got a keeper in Mr. Rangel.
Barney’s movie had heart, but bullet in the groin had a bullet in the groin.
Nobody over seventy in that parking lot? I had no idea there were so many young folks on the surface of the sun.
I’m a little sad they didn’t give the guy’s name, so for now I’ll just refer to him as “Prince Albert”.
That happened in Mesa AZ. Mesa is kinda like the Columbus, Ohio of AZ. With more Mormons.
Joe, everyone knows Gilbert has more Mormons than Mesa. Plus, it happened in Chandler.
If the title didn’t have Arizona in it, I would have played ‘Florida or Ohio’ and guess Florida. That’s how it’s works, right? Florida has the dumbasses and Ohio has the disgusting chuds?
Looks like this guy could really use a tip from Vince…
Looks like his girlfriend is gonna dump too, no penis no girlfriend. Thats one shitty trip to the grocery store.
Arizona: We may be out West, but we’re still in the South.
Glad my home state’s insane legislature dropped the concealed carry permit requirement. Now idiots like this can carry with no training. And no penis.
@FunkyWarmMedina – No it didn’t happen in Chandler dip shit, it happened Mesa. Watch the Story.
@Joe Chandler Police report, they even say Chandler. Just labeled Mesa, nutcup.
Dear God, I’m proud to not be from here. @Alcoholics Gratuitous is right: it’s pretty much Alabama with scorpions instead of roaches. The pick-up truck/goatee ratio is off the charts, especially on the West side where I live.
The fact that he was exiting the store with his girlfriends’s maxi-pads when the gun went off probably kept him from bleeding-out.
Guns don’t kill penises; Dicks kill penises.
@PhxMST3KGirl it’s not all stupid people from here-
@FunkyWarmMedina: Absolutely not. I’d never suggest such a thing. It’s just that I’ve lived quite a few places, and, well, you just have to look a little harder to find the good ones here. Obviously anyone reading this blog is super duper coolio. Besides, almost everyone who lives here is from MI, MN or WI.
Wait, was I supposed to fight with you?
@PhxMST3KGirl not that I’m aware of