Donna D’Errico Is On The Hunt For Noah’s Ark

Artist's rendering

Esquire published a huge oral history of “Baywatch” today. While the whole thing is pretty interesting if you want to read about Pamela Anderson’s boobs, Nicole Eggert’s bitter regrets, and Jeremy Jackson’s drug problems (or if you want to see David Hasselhoff quoted as saying “My biggest challenge in life in women”), the most fascinating part for me was this little factoid, which was buried in a parenthetical:

Of the other principle actresses, Donna D’Errico declined to be interviewed. In an e-mail, D’Errico told Esquire.com of her plans to climb Mount Ararat to search for Noah’s Arc. “That is a very personal and religious journey for me,” she wrote. “I don’t want people to always just see me in the context of having been on Baywatch.” The trip was reportedly canceled over safety concerns.

GREENLIGHT THIS, HOLLYWOOD. GREENLIGHT THIS RIGHT NOW. I would watch a show titled “Donna D’Errico: Ark Hunter” all day long, to the point basic daily functions like bathing and eating actually start to suffer. You could team her up with Bear Grylls — who, for the record, has a wide open schedule right now — and fly them all over the world in search of Biblical artifacts. It would be like “Man vs. Wild” meets Tomb Raider meets, uh … [goes to IMDB to find something else Donna D'Errico was in] … HOLY CRAP THAT’S RIGHT SHE HOSTED “BATTLEBOTS.” Let’s get them in there, too. Donna D’Errico, Bear Grylls, and a bunch of Battlebots working together to find Noah’s Ark.

I smell Emmy Nobel.