Over on Pajiba a few weeks ago, Brian Byrd (who doubles as QueeferSutherland, a regular commenter here) wrote a fascinating prediction piece on ending “Game of Thrones,” wondering what would kill the series first: 1) The exorbitant production costs, 2) The epic length and scope of the series, or the most likely scenario, 3) The death of George R.R. Martin before he finishes writing the series.
And then there’s mortality. As disquieting as it is to consider, there’s a possibility that the 63-year-old won’t live long enough to wrap the series. Martin resembles Santa Claus in many ways, particularly in the midsection, and the fact that he’s a Jets fan can’t thrill his cardiologist. Essentially, Martin could be one Mark Sanchezception away from expiration … and Sanchez throws a lot of interceptions. YOU’RE KILLING AN AMERICAN TREASURE, MARK! THINK BEFORE YOU RELEASE THE BALL!! Point is, there are real questions about both his capacity to have material ready when HBO needs it and his ability to finish it at all.
It is terrifying to consider that the fate of “Game of Thrones” rests on the inaccurate arm of a lousy Jets quarterback, but there you are. George R.R. Martin himself addressed the issue last week, noting that he doesn’t want the series to catch up with him, but you he can’t guarantee that it won’t.
I am aware of the TV series moving along behind me like a giant locomotive, and I know I need to lay the track more quickly, perhaps, because the locomotive is soon going to be bearing down on me. The last thing I want is for the TV series to catch up with me. I’ve got a considerable head start, but production is moving faster than I can write. I’m hoping that we’ll finish the story at about the same time … we’ll see.
It’s appropriate then that someone has come out with an epic music video devoted to this very topic, “George R.R. Martin, Write Like the Wind.” Written by Paul and Storm at Geek and Sundry, the hilarious video compares Martin’s inability to crap out chapters to Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and Shakespeare’s relative speed. It’s as catchy as it is nerdy.
(VIA)
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I predicted the same thing would happen with The Wheel of Time, and low-and-behold, Robert Jordan died before writing the final book. Thank God he had it mapped out enough to where someone else could finish it.
If QueeferSutherland isn’t real, I’m beginning to have serious doubts this is the real Hot Rod.
I thought I was going to get a parody of this: [www.youtube.com]
Beat me to it, Walker.
I remember reading (possibly here?) that Martin has already outlined the planned ending to the executive producers of the show, so if he does kick the button they’ll be able to finish the show.
Yup, they (GRRM & D&D) said so somewhere around Comicon last year I think. Apparently he also said was he was planning to the guys at westeros.org although he wouldn’t want someone to finish the book series for him, but maybe he told them so they could wikipedia’d the remaining fate of our (anti-)heroes.
Kick the button?
THANK GOD.
Honestly, I’m more worried about the series in terms of budget and popularity. I adore the books, obviously, but I wonder if the show can stay popular enough for the 8-9 seasons or however long it takes to do the whole thing.
Somehow my iPhone thinks that buckot should have been button instead of bucket.
Obvious solution: Include everything from the books in the show and it’ll go on forever. Everyone wins.
And by “everyone”, I mean me.
It’s comments like this that make me wish we had upvotes.
Wait, wait,wait,wait….so, QueeferSutherland isn’t his REAL name?!
Maybe if he spent less time going to conventions and editing/writing for compilation books he would write a bit faster.
Yeah, I know. Stop enjoying life, George!
If there was ever a reason to discover the key to immortality, this is it.
DON’T YOU DIE ON US, GEORGE.
I’d probably take issue with GRRM pulling a Robert Jordan being the MOST likely end of the series. At five years per book he’ll have the series wrapped up in his 70s, which is definitely doable for someone who can afford lots of big, juicy health insurance. Plus, if he gains a few pounds a year, I predict that ADoS will contain a block of deeply moving Wyman Manderly POVs. It will be a race against time as the Citadel scrambles to isolate the insulin hormone.
Here’s a fun thought experiment. If that bus driver can get $500k or whatever it was, what do you think a broke GRRM would raise if he needed some kind of ultra-expensive medical procedure in 2014?
I haven’t read any of the Thrones books, but I was worried that Stephen King would not finish the Dark Tower series before he died. Then he finished it. And the ending sucked so bad I wish he never finished it. I had a point when I started this comment.
My God did that ending ever suck
When King got hit by that van, you could hear every Dark Tower fan in the world scream “OH SH*T!!!” in unison.
Never thought I’d say this on this Uproxx blog but “God damnit Nacho”
/Just 9 or so weeks until the Nacho-Jesusback clusterfuck begins!
I might start calling Tebow “The High Sparrow.”
I bet LaToeInjury retired just so he could pen the ending of GoT in case of Martin’s untimely end.
WRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITEWRITE
“What Jaime had did when he betrayed his family was not so much popular but he was still honor. Jaime had wanted to sit on that throne, but was getting old and di’nt see how bad Brienne really was until it was too late.”
“But he was still a great man and please forgive all the turrible things I had said about the Starks.”
Aww. I was hoping for something to the tune of Christopher Cross’s Ride Like the Wind.
And I’ve got such a long way to go
To make it to the border of Westeros
Shit, I’m going have that in my head all day now.
Martin is (probably because the Jets absolutely suck) a sports bigamist and doubles as a Giants fan, even saying that “To me, the Starks are heroes, so they would be the Giants.” So just as Sanchez’s sucktitude won’t be enough to ever win a Super Bowl, it also won’t be enough to kill off Martin before he finishes A Song of Ice and Fire.
I’m not worried about the show ending. If HBO doesn’t want to spend the money, someone will, and most likely it will happen in movie form. Unfortunately you can’t go and see a movie in your underwear.
GRRM dying before he finishes writing the series is troublesome, because I don’t think anyone can finish it the way he did. Either way, the producers of the show know the broad strokes of what’s to play out in Westeros’ future, and they’ve done a fine job handling Martin’s series so far.
Who says you can’t see a movie in your underwear?
Thats what trenchcoats are for silly billy.
there’s no way to put ASoIaF, or even just one of the books, into movie form. It’s hour-long premium cable or bust.
What worries me is that IF this happens, and D&D go on to finish without GRRM, will we see more of GRRM’s gold melted down and mixed with shit, as large chunks of the story has been treated so far? Or will we actually see his grand vision for the end of this saga?
I meant the remainder of what the series hasn’t covered Dub_C, but you’re right, it’d be a tall task. I will judge the entire series based on the next two seasons, so really the mixing so far hasn’t bothered me.
One of the good burghers of Westeros.org features on this round table discussion about Season 2. [www.coronacomingattractions.com] In summary, they were all disappointed.
Here’s an idea for a YouTube parody video, and just the idea because I’m far too lazy to execute it: We watch an animated version of the GoT intro, but about halfway through it suddenly turns to black-and-white, and then we come across a real hand penciling in an unfinished part of Westeros. The camera stops panning, the music fades out, and a voice off-camera says, “What’s going on, George?” Then the person with the pencil replies, “Oh, sorry, I’m not finished yet.” ” How much longer is it going to take?” “Uh, I’m not really sure. soon, I hope.” “(sighs) Okay people, that’s a wrap. No more Game of Thrones until George finishes up,” “Sorry everyone.” Then the clip ends with a crudely-drawn GoT logo.
Dammit. this is stuck in my head and I’m not sorry. When I first got GoT long ago (a dogeared paperback, as it were) my best friend who gave it to me warned me “Now… he might kick the bucket before he finishes, so… you know… be warned.” Then Robert Jordan died and we shared a worried moment about the fate of the architect of Westeros. Also remember: every time you ask GRRM when the next book is coming out, he kills a Stark. Please, think of the Starks.