
Republican National Convention (Every dumb network) – Politics, televised or otherwise, are awful, and should be avoided whenever possible. (Only exception: The Daily Show. Sometimes.)
Pretty Little Liars (The CW) – Mid-season finale. Mid-season finale? What in the hell? That’s like calling midterms “Halfway Finals.” Everyone in show business is insane.
The Burn With Jeff Ross (Comedy Central) – Jimmy Kimmel is one of the guests this week. Hopefully he keeps right on running his mouth about Leno. That would be splendid.
World Series of Poker (ESPN) – Future generations will not judge us kindly for those four or five years in the mid-2000s when we all sat around and watched poker on television like it was a socially acceptable thing to do.
Hard Knocks (HBO) – I have watched every episode of Hard Knocks this year and I still can only name like six Miami Dolphins. Max. This means (a) the Miami Dolphins do not exactly have a star-studded roster, and (b) I really to need to talk to my doctor about my ADD.
The Week Women Want (Lifetime) – [does Shania Twain voice] “Let’s go, girls. BAH BAH BUH DA NAH BUMP BAH.” [checks to see if anyone is looking, does rest of song from memory]
White Collar/Covert Affairs (USA) – EVERYONE’S A SPY.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: David Duchovny and Jeff Ross on Kimmel; Amy Adams on Letterman; Larry King on Ferguson; Lisa Kudrow on Leno, with musical guests Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen; Matthew McConaughey, Carla Gugino, and R. Kelly on a repeat of Fallon; Isla Fisher, Dean Norris, and Andrew W.K. on Conan.
Photo credit: Reuters



It’s ONLY the future of the country. If you ARE going to vote, but are still undecided, then for the love of god, tune into one of the “dumb networks”.
Yo, I have very strongly held political beliefs and I am definitely going to vote, but that doesn’t change the fact that politics themselves are awful and the coverage of them by all of the major networks and 24-hour news channels is shameful at best and you would literally have to hold my family hostage to get me to watch a single second of either party’s convention.
Also, anyone who is still “undecided” at this point — after four years to judge President Obama in office and like a decade of Mitt Romney popping up on TV to talk about every single issue possible — is beyond help.
We cool now?
Reince Priebus, tho. Game of Thrones or Republican National Convention? How else to figure it out if not to watch?
Don’t worry DG, it’s all the Dolphins fault.
Let’s try : Reggie Bush, Matt Moore, Ryan Tannehill, the guy Reggie Bush nicknamed 7/11, and a couple of guys name Agnew, one bad, one really bad. Yep. They suck.
Oh, oh. Jake Long, and . . .
Wait, you forgot… um… is Joey Porter still alive? Jay Fiedler is still a Dolphin, right? Damn, I don’t know anyone who has played for that team this decade who you haven’t named,
DG, you’re still doing better than Cromartie and his kids’ names.
This means (a) the Miami Dolphins do not exactly have a star-studded roster, and (b) I really to need to talk to my doctor about my ADD.
Why can’t it be both?
It is both, note the inclusion of the word “and”
If you’re going to mention The Daily Show, might as well mention Colbert, too. (Mostly because he’s way better.)
The Colbert Report is dope.
After seeing this list I’m pretty excited that Franklin & Bash, Season 1, Disc 2 arrived from Netflix today. Thanks Netflix.
Not deserving of thanks: my asshole internet that is too slow to allow me to enjoy Netflix streaming so I don’t have to wait for the mail
When did watching the World Series of Poker become a season long commitment? Speed that shit up and show us the table with all the money piled up, or the “money shot” to us laymen. I don’t care if some poker guy catches a bad beat and gets all uppity, these people are basically robots aside from the handful of players I recognize.
I have to watch tonight’s Collection Intervention, since it’s about a guy with a Transformers collection who is miserable.
The Flaming Lips concert covering Dark Side of the Moon on Palladia isn’t a bad way to kill the 9:00 hour.
There’s a re-run of Happy Endings on ABC. GREAT filler until Hard Knocks.
Ferguson unveiled the new set last night. So if you wanna pop in to get a look at their new state-of-the-art (fake) fireplace.