Well you just knew that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert would have something to say about scary Jack-O-Lantern Donald Trump’s hilarious P.T. Barnum/Geraldo Rivera impression yesterday. Stewart touched on it quickly using a video clip of a gorilla eating its own feces. Colbert, meanwhile, was moved to make Trump a counteroffer.
“Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I’d like to make an offer of my own,” Colbert announced. “Mr Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million dollars from Colbert Super PAC — you know I’ve got it — to the charity of your choice…Save The Children. Feed The Children. Put The Children on Child Apprentice, whatever…One million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth. One million.”
Colbert then went on to lay out the Trump-esque conditions of his generous offer.
“But…this dipping — and I hope you’re listening very carefully Mr Trump — this dipping has to be to my and more importantly, my balls’ satisfaction. One caveat…My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5pm October 31st.”
Closing out his pitch, Colbert added: “Nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth than coming out of it.”
Amen. Enjoy…
And here’s the aforementioned Daily Show clip…
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“They have a thing that night”. <– died.
do it for the children donald trump… THE CHILDREN!!
Imaginaaaaaa-aaaaa-aaaaa-aaaa-tionland!
First off, let me say that I love this site. You guys post hilarious things (like this video, for example) that I may have otherwise missed. However, I have one minor criticism. When you titled this post as you did, you basically ruin the entire joke for those of us seeing it for the first time. It’s still funny, but it loses a great deal of its humor and shock value because you spoiled it with the headline and transcript of the entire bit. I have learned to watch any video posted before reading the text specifically to avoid spoilers, but it’s hard to avoid the headline. It’d be like writing a post about The Sixth Sense and calling it “Bruce Willis Doesn’t Know He’s Dead”.
You could save everyone some time and just type “JEEZBUS DUDE! SPOILER ALERT!”
Unfortunately in the world of page views, advertising money and other website-related words I’m pulling out of my ass, the headline, “Colbert has a counter-offer for Trump” doesn’t bring in readers
Touche, salesman
What @Izgoood said, largely.
Also, some of us living in parts foreign can’t see the clips unless we faff around for ages getting hold of it. So thanks, headline-writers and gif-makers!
I was actually watching it thinking he was about to pull out some Steven Colbert regulation size ping pong balls… Nope.
Why the fuck does Trump even want to see Obama’s grades? Does he think Harvard Law School gave him the magna cum laude distinction on a whim? Or that he was elected editor of the HLR because he won a bet?
No other president has ever provided a college transcript before. Wonder what’s different about this one that has conservatives all worked up into a tizzy.
(See also: “Hey, this president uses a teleprompter!!!!”)
“Its because of quotas and the Rooney rule!!”1!”
-PBKsuck
Push polling in Oberlin, Ohio:
Do you thinks it’s fair that the President claimed to be a foreign national and provided documentation to that effect to gain access to higher education?
No worse than Uproxx floating the divorce rumor yesterday.
No other president has ever provided a college transcript before. Wonder what’s different about this one that has conservatives all worked up into a tizzy.
==
black.
Otto, you are such a pathetic little fanboi. Maybe if you didn’t have your head so far up your ass, you’d have the answers you ask.
Never mind, I know how much it would crush you that you put your faith in a man who isn’t what he told you he is. A man you know nothing about, but are willing to embarrass yourself on a daily basis while trying to defend.
Time to get a job Otto boy, the free ride is about to come to an end.