As if it weren’t bad enough that college currently costs $8,000-$15,000 more per year than it did ten years ago, burying many of our nation’s youth under a mountain of debt before we shove them out naked and shivering into one of the worst job markets in decades, some institutions of higher learning around the country have gone ahead and done the unthinkable: They’ve invited Guy Fieri to their campuses. The above picture is from Monclair State University in New Jersey, and I have bad news for you … they’re spreading:
Fieri partnered with the French multinational Sodexo to create “fast casual retail dining concept featuring his unique culinary style with hints of Italian, Asian and Mexican flavor.” [...]
This is the first of a planned 15 locations in American colleges over the next five years. On the menu: “a broad selection of sandwiches, pasta, tacos, quesadillas, rice bowls, salads, soups and burritos.” Also: Guy’s famous Vegas Fries, “a rockin’ recipe inspired by Guy’s college days featuring extra crispy spuds tossed in buffalo sauce and served with a side of bleu cheese.” [Eater]
Three thoughts:
1) “… his unique culinary style”? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL … [deep breath] … OLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
2) Serious Question: What if Guy Fieri is secretly an Al Qaeda operative? What if they’ve decided that single, large-scale attacks are too risky, and it would be safer to go with a slowly developing plan that involves giving Americans diabetes and heart problems, and lowering our status in the global community by making us all douchebag caricatures with spiky hair and wristbands, so they raised him from birth in an underground compound to be the perfect weapon? First he achievess popularity over the airwaves, then he gains a footing in our major cities, and, finally, he starts indoctrinating our youth from inside our educational institutions. It would almost be too easy.
3) I would have eaten THE HELL out of those Vegas Fries when I was in college. Seriously.
Thanks to Cajun Boy for the tip
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G FOC yourself.
Leave it to NJ to encourage more Guy Fieri.
Montclair, NJ? This has Peter King’s fat fingerprints all over it, doesn’t it?
Are we sure he isn’t a front for the Umbrella Corporation? I’m pretty certain his food is spiced with the T-virus instead of salt.
If you look to be kinda nerdy will they smack the tray of food out of your hand and call you a fag right after they serve it to you? You know, to really capture the Guy Fieri vibe?
oh god, i just conflated fieri and mr. touchdown, and it is not good, it is not good at all. not that touchdown would call someone a fag, but he’s got the spiky blond hair and disdain for nerdlingers.
Naked, shivering and overweight most likely.
“As if it weren’t bad enough that college currently costs $8,000-$15,000 more per year than it did ten years ago”
George W. Bush: “I increased Pell Grants!”
Barack Obama: “I increased Pell Grants!”
Mitt Romney: “Put me in office and I will increase Pell Grants!”
Barack Obama: “Me too!”
Hooray, we ALL lose!
Have you ever eaten a buffalo chicken pizza at a place where the owners/managers have absolutely no culinary skill? What I’m getting at is that marinara, bleu cheese, and Frank’s hot sauce are not complimentary flavors.
I cooked and ate some questionable meals when I was in college. I would never inflict those culinary crimes on a paying public. In short, Guy Fieri and his enablers are the worst.
I hope that P-Boi’s Spilly of Lunch Judgement gets to plan the menus. He’s a true culinary genius.
I cannot echo Danger’s bullet point #3 enough. I’d hate myself for it, but I’d have eaten all this slop so hard.
Oh good, the Freshman Forty-five can be a thing.
At first I thought it said “Est. 1969″ and that just made it perfect, absolutely perfect. However upon closer examination I believe that it is 1968, which really doesn’t make a lot of sense to me at all.
Maybe he was born in 68?
sodexo is the same food service that serves us in the chow hall on MCAS cherry point….not high cuisine.
Kinda concerning?