For all the complaints I’ve made about Sons of Anarchy over the past season, the one thing I can say about Kurt Sutter’s show that I cannot say about Showtime’s Dexter is that at least Sons of Anarchy is sh*tballs entertaining. Compared to the last half of the seventh season of Dexter, Sons of Anarchy is the pristine Harley to Dexter’s broken-down Jalopy.
Dexter is a show that I once loved. It was easily one of my favorite dramas, and the return of Doakes in last night’s season finale reminded me of what Dexter is so badly missing: A better sense of humor. The funniest thing about last night’s seventh season finale was the episode title, “Surprise Motherf***ker.” Other than that, it was a lackluster conclusion to a season that started off so promising, all the more disappointing considering the WALLOPING fantastic season finale to Homeland last night.
Let’s get to the breakdown.
1. Hannah Admits to the Poisoning — All season long, I’ve been trying to predict where the Dexter twists would arrive, and the biggest problem with my predictions is expecting a twist. I thought for sure that Debra had poisoned herself in order to frame Hannah, and I was terribly disappointed to find out that it was as straightforward as it was. It’s just as Dexter surmised. Why make that so obvious? If Debra had poisoned herself, the episode could’ve continued on more or less the same track, but we’d have more respect for Debra.
2. Dexter Still Hearts Hannah — The best emotional notes in last night’s episode were probably hit during the prison conversation between Hannah and Dexter, where Dexter conceded that he was still madly in love with Hannah, and if there was any way to protect her sister, he and Hannah would still be together. “I can never trust you, and you can never trust me. We both knew it would come to this, one of us dead or behind bars.” A more interesting twist might have been to have Dexter behind the bars, which is where I thought the episode was headed at one point: With Dexter in jail, and Debra left to do his dirty work.
3. Hannah Escapes — Hannah’s fizzling storyline may have been the most disappointing part of last night’s episode, but also the most promising. Besides Ray Stevenson’s character, Yvonne Strahovski has been the highlight of season seven (due in no small part to the fact that she is one of the hottest women on television), but to see her use Arline to retrieve some medication, which gave her a seizure, which allowed her to escape and … basically do nothing … was terribly anticlimactic. That’s it?She didn’t play at all into the overall storyline between Debra and Dexter in the end. She left a plant on Dexter’s doorstep, and she just left. She’s in the wind. The good news, at least, is that she could, and probably will, return next season. Bye for now, Yvonne.
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They should have made it look like LaGuerta became a copy cat killer/bay harbor butcher because of her love of Doakes. or that she was in on it all along with him. That way they could have tied up the double murder, cleared their names and sown why LaGuerta was so after them. They didn’t show the body dump, but any time a cop fires a gun it needs a report, not sure if they check clips end of the day week. Also if they retrieve the bullet from her body it will be hard to explain.
I’ve missed Doakes since the minute they killed him. I also miss the fun sense of humor that this show used to have. I was mad at the writers of the show for weeks when they killed Doakes.
I thought that they were going to go with Dexter setting LaGuerta up for the death of Estrada after her plans fell through, without killing her, and go to an even darker place with her on the run trying to out Dexter… but no they then were going to have him kill her. *sigh*
It would have been better if the sibling drama interrupted Dexter enough that she got away but he managed to frame her.
And Deb killing her was just stupid, even having Dexter stab her and Deb shooting him and it not being clear if he was dead or not, and going to the next season with him on the run, or getting patched up but Deb having to get involved in cleaning up the site and covering it up would have been better.
The ending was lame.
And Ray Stevenson was built up as this total threat to Dexter and then they become best buddies? I would have killed to have seen him let lose, hunting Dexter, playing cat and mouse with each other through the rest of the season than the limp ending they gave him.
i actually would not mind a nomination for Carpenter but idk about a win.. I thought she did very well given the sucktitude of the season’s stories.
Spot on, such a disappointing end to the season. I guess it’s par for the course now on Dexter, make the viewers think you’re actually going somewhere and the car putters out. R.I.P. Doakes indeed.
Boo this episode….
I kind of got the impression from Hannah’s comments to Deb that maybe Deb did poison herself, and Hannah was just lying to Dexter bc she loves him and didn’t want him to be wrong or some other crap, which was why she was like, “oh yeah, I did poison her,” after 5 seconds of prodding. I may be reading into it to pretend the show was more interesting. I also was 100% sure Angel was going to die after all that talk of retirement and happiness.
I thought that too. Partially because it seemed waaaay too obvious she would admit to poisoning Deb within seconds of the episode after she denied it last week.
They did show some of Hannah’s hair in debs washroom near the meds. Also it was a very high risk move to drive and try to pass out.
Oh Dustin. I love how you were so sure about how things would play out and super-disappointed that it was so certainly going to play out that way, and then it didn’t play out that way, and you’re even more disappointed.
Anyway, remember that these two seasons are supposed to be the endgame (provided the season 9 rumors don’t prove true); none of this season’s plotlines are necessarily over. Obviously Hannah’s coming back (maybe to be a full-on big bad); obviously Dex and Deb aren’t going to get off scot-free, at least not after Deb shot Maria with her own gun instead of Estrada’s; hopefully Quinn will get whacked early next season (though I doubt it — he’s somehow survived two seasons where his death seemed all but certain — he’ll probably be the last man standing after Miami Metro gets nuked, and then his moronic cock will strangle him to death); I doubt Angel will leapfrog Debra in the chain of command, but he also probably isn’t gone. And I guess that’s about it in terms of plot points. Oh, but I’d also like to say how foolish I think the “Deb poisoned herself” theory was. Deb is nooooowhere near scheming enough to do something like that.
Mark King still looks great. Those flashbacks were lovely, though they were a little shoehorned-in, and contrasted very sharply with the rest of the show. Michael C. Hall did some great acting in this one, in that conversation with Harry (I actually liked a Harry scene, dear god…), the flashbacks (playing such a different character from the one he’s been since season 3 or 4), and especially in the little heart-to-heart with Estrada.
I don’t get how people are bitching about Deb not poisoning herself, but then if she did, people would bitch about it being too Breaking Bad-ish. (People had already been comparing it to that). If you’re still watching Dexter for crazy twists, then of course you’ll be bound for disappointment. You’re not going to get another Arthur Mitchell or dead Rita. I love the fact that Deb is finally being a main focus, and thought they’ve done a good job with her scenes and her character development. And that ending with her, was powerful as fuck. And just because they didn’t show the clean-up doesn’t mean they aren’t going to go back to it next season. Did you really want to end that emotional scene with watching how Dexter cleaned up while Deb is in the fetal position on the floor? We don’t even know what they ended up doing, and we won’t until next season. For some reason I think people just love to bash this show and hold it to some really high standard, and mostly holding it to season 4, which I question how “great” it would be if the twist at the end never even happened. It’s still managed to be entertaining enough and more compelling than anything during the week on the big four.
Season 4 was awful if you subtract the twist and sub someone else for Lithgow. It had all the same problems 3 did, just with a better actor involved.
Seasons 1 and 2, at least, were decent TV, but that’s partly due to the novelty value.
For me season 4 isn’t a shining beacon of the best-of-Dexter. Personally I think season 2 is my favorite, I loved Doakes and his arc. Seeing him again made me miss that, but you nailed something on the head- the novelty. This show was doing something “new” when it started, and I think it’s safe and normal to say that it’s been on seven years- it’s not “new” anymore and many people are going to tire out of it if it’s not unexpectedly killing off every major character every season. It just seems to be held to some crazy high standard. For me, this season has opened a fresh door with Deb, but I’m partly glad that season 8 will be their last.
I agree with everything you said. And season 4 was awful aside from Lithgow and dead Rita. Though I disagree with most people about season 3.
SUNRISE, MOTHERFUCKER.
Otarin, you are brilliant!
So Deb shoots LaGuerta with a 9mm service weapon, most likely hollowpoints, and they’re going to make that look like she got hit with a .38 special? And they’re also going to shoot Estrada with the same sized bullet over a stab wound and nobody’s the wiser? Theyre gonna just let the guy LaGuerta was accusing of being a serial killer do the forensics on her shooting?
I could maybe, maybe buy that Estrada/LaGuerta get into a scuffle, pull each others weapons, and that’s how a miami metro bullet ends up in LaGuerta, but come on. And what’s the plotline next season? 12 episodes waiting on FBI forensics? Matthews tailing Dexter? Deb and Dexter head into national waters for incest-a-palooza 2013, on the run from Hannah? TVs creepiest threesome?
As for Quinn/Jamie…i hope they visit the beach. A lot. Gratuitously.
This show got stupid. Dexter stopped being meticulous, cops stopped using their brains, and they keep killing off the interesting characters. For what? An examination of Dexter’s humanity? Nobody gives a shit about his feelings. That’s the antithesis of what we want – morbid humor/sociopath Dexter is way, way more awesome than lovey-dovey daddy Dexter.
No badges…no comments!
I haven’t read the comments yet, but me thinks Dustin doth protest too much. Like you said, SOA is dumb as a post, but entertaining as fuck. Well Dexter has never been gratuitiously fast paced or action packed, but still riveting while predictable. I will concede the season was far from the best season of 2012 television, but that scene with Debra did it for me.
Also, am I the only one who shouted “NO TOUCHING!” when Hannah kissed Dexter?
totally yelled “NO TOUCHING!” as well…
I actually escalated : “no touching. NO TOUCHING!”
+1 to that as well, I couldn’t hold it back
I thought this season finale was infinitely more interesting than Homeland. Homeland was 55 minutes of awkward Brody and Carrie moments in the woods, and then a big explosion. I will be back for more Dexter, but have jumped off the Homeland train.
Glad I’m not the only one that thought that. About 40 minutes in I even said to my wife, “this is the most boring season finale ever”. Yeah it did finally get good, but it’s just as sloppy as Dexter but people are still in love with it.
I haven’t watched Homeland this season because I don’t understand what they could possibly do to make it as compelling as the first season- for me the interest I had in it was only because of Damian Lewis and not knowing his intentions. The whole first season was a build up to what he was gonna do. I never gave a shit about that nutjob Carrie. Maybe I’ll go and watch season two eventually, or I might not and just wait for Walking Dead, Breaking Bad and Dexter to return.
I’m seeing a lot of negative sentiment around about the Homeland finale, too, virnomine. Don’t worry too much about that.
I think the reason this finale (and season) ultimately fell flat is that they conceived the story for this season and next together. This season was to set up everything for next year, including Hannah still being part of the story. So, rather than a real “finale” this was just a midpoint.
Though, I don’t care who is eating underwear- Jennifer Carptenter acted the fuck out of that poorly written/non-surprising scene. I hope she is rewarded with a better role on another show when Dexter finally ends next year.
I watched this episode last night with friends after not having watched any of Season 7, and I felt like I missed nothing. I have seen all the other seasons, but gave up on the show after the pitiful seasons 5 and 6, so I knew the backstories and whatnot, and just felt completely justified last night. That the writers are so grasping at straws, but still can’t pull together a full season, is the reason I stopped in the first place
I miss Doakes so bad I named my dog Sergeant James T Doakes (I added the T part). When he gets in trouble I tell him I am going to have his badge for it.
Awesome to the max.
I chose to go with Bodie from The Wire. I initially named the 2nd dog Poot, but the wife nixed that.
People still watch Dexter?
The single reason I watched at all this season was because of Yvonne Strahovski.She needs to be on better shows so I won’t have to watch any more Dexter.
I felt like they just switched horses mid season. Ray Stevenson was doing a fine job and then they tried like hell for 6-7 episodes to make me care about Hannah McKay, who just congeals out of that whole getting hit by a truck reflection piece. This season was disjointed and awful. And the Miami court system needs to better train their bailiffs. “NO TOUCHING”
Ok I am not the only one… (see above)
Seriously, what the fuck was the point of that entire Russian mob storyline? It served absolutely no purpose.
Doakes was the best supporting character on the show. Seeing him again reminds me how much I missed him. Anybody notice Dexter using the alias of Arthur Curry? An Aquaman reference! Just the plot lines, his aliases are lame.
*Just like the plot lines
The ending of this episode made me think of this exchange between Homer and Marge.
Homer: “Is this a happy ending or a sad ending?”
Marge: “It’s an ending. That’s enough.”
It would have been better if Harrison shot LaGuerta. LaGwerrrr-thaaa!!
Im going to watch season 4 and remember how great things used to be.
Who was watching Harrison!? Does this question never need answering!?
I knew that Harrison would be an annoying thing to work around every since he was conceived. Why do show creators do that to themselves? Now all I think of is “oh great, so he see’s his kid for four hours a week? WTF?”
Season 2 Carl Grimes was watching Harrison.
That is why Jamie is on the show. Harrison is ALWAYS with his nanny.
I didn’t think cops made that much money. Evidently they make enough in Miami Metro to hire a round the clock nanny.
he was sleeping in the back office of the restaurant.
yes somehow apparently through loud music/talking/fireworks.
thank god for homeland coming on afterwards and making me totally forget about this crappy dexter finale
Also, Homeland Quinn > Dexter Quinn.
this times 1 million
Veeeery much so.
last night’s episodes made me mix Doakes. When I saw the title, I was hoping he’d come back somehow not involving flashbacks. How about next season Doakes’ twin brother show up as the new Captain, ask that everyone call him James, and be the main antagonist of Dexter?
“It’s like Landfill didn’t even die”
That’s not a good idea, Yvonne. You and Jennifer should eat each other’s.
So, apparently in the books, LaGuerta dies in book 1 and Doakes is still alive and yet we had to suffer through 7 season of LaGuerta and only had two seasons of some sweet, sweet Doakes. What the fuck.
yea.. the books were not great…… kinda lame at best. most of the characters were 2-d. essentially the sis, angel and laguerta were paper thin it was insane…
whats more insane is how the sis is 2-d in the entire show,. very limited rang as a character….. she either swears, has sex or is annoying……
Doakes has it pretty rough in the books too.
Even LaGuerta’s death, which I’ve been praying for since season one, was unsatisfying.
really. They took the one thing EVERYONE wanted to happen, and still managed to fuck it up.
Truth. Honestly, I feel like this show could end now and I wouldn’t even care.
I, as well, will eat Yvonne’s panties if Jennifer doesn’t win an Emmy…or if she does win an Emmy. Basically, what I am saying is, Yvonne is hot, and I would eat her pantaloons.
I was gonna comment but I don’t have anything to contribute.
Dexter finale was weak, Homeland finale was surprisingly awesome. Then I masturbated and went to sleep.
It’s difficult choosing the high point of the night.
This whole season was lazy. For a show that supposed to be a drama, most of the conflict is really short lived. Deb not poisoning herself was a huge cop out. Dexter would have had to deal with putting his girlfriend in jail, and being manipulated by his sister, whom he could no longer trust. Deb shooting LaGuerta 15 minutes after she asked the department to check on where she was. If anything Dexter should have made it seem like Laguerta lured him there to try and frame him only to have Deb come in and save the day. That would have seemed more plausible.
The whole thing about Angel’s nieces boyfriend was completely pointless. Dex gets the hand back, the mob kills the boyfriend, blood on the boat but that doesnt mean anything. They could have made it so Dexter never knew a body was on his boat, then LaGuerta could have found blood on the boat and nailed Dexter for the one murder he didnt actually commit, but no, everything is wrapped up in a nice neat little package. (yes, that was Homer Simpsons voice)
Also, Hannah is going to be gone the entirety of next season. Dexter is finally going to run after the truth is finally revealed. Then he’ll meet Hannah on a beach in Argentina. This theory is dismissed by pretty much everyone, because its too corny and obvious, but after the past 2 seasons, if there is one thing Dexter has become its obvious.
I really would have liked it if deb had actually poisoned herself. It would have made for an actual storyline for next season, but no. Or maybe if they hadn’t decided to kill of Isaac, the best guest since Lithgow, but no. They make the wrong decision at every possible turn.
Ugh, what happened to this show…
I know…
We’re not even rewarded with a badge, that’s how lame Warming Glow thinks of the show…
Wait, so Doakes is back on this show now?
Surprise Muthaf*cka!
Did they just run out of ideas? “Hey, how about if we go back and bring back a guy we KNOW got killed.”
So Yvonne Strahovski will eat her own underwear if Jennifer Carpenter doesn’t win an Emmy?
Someone keep that bitch away from any Emmys.
Did she give any kind of time frame?