Discovery Channel Is Going To Air A Live Tightrope Walk Across The Grand Canyon

If you asked me to make a list of things you probably shouldn’t do, “walk across the dang Grand Canyon on a tightrope without a harness” and “air someone trying to do that on live television with no regard for the fact that he might go splat” would probably be pretty close to the top. But if history has taught us anything it’s that no one listens to me, so here we are: On June 23, Discovery Channel will do that second thing while “King of the High Wire” Nik Wallenda — who crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope last year — tries to do the first thing.

In a bid for DVR-proof water cooler fare, the cable channel is said to have outbid rivals for the opportunity to air the nail-biting stunt as a play-by-play live event. Wallenda, 34, will be on a tightrope at 1,500 feet above the Little Colorado River, considerably higher than his 2012 tightrope walk directly over Niagara Falls at 200 feet. [...]

Added Wallenda: “The stakes don’t get much higher than this. The only thing that stands between me and the bottom of the canyon is a two-inch thick wire. I’m looking forward to showing the audience a view of the canyon they’ve never seen before.” [THR]

This is already stressing me out. Wanna know why the audience has never seen this view of the Grand Canyon before? Because a view of the Grand Canyon from a tightrope that is 1500 feet in the air and has no net under it sounds TERRIFYING.

Nope. Nope nope nope.