So I don’t know if you guys have heard, but dudes apparently like getting laid. I know, SHOCKING, right? Because of this, there’s naturally a huge market out there of dudes who have trouble getting laid for people who claim to know how to help such dudes get laid to exploit receive money from in exchange for helping to teach them how to get laid. See Neil Strauss and The Game, for example.

Apparently looking to build off of Strauss’ success at tapping into the lonely bro market is a guy from Milford, Connecticut named Ken Hoinsky, a prolific Redditor who posts under the name “TofuTofu” – mostly on on Seddit, the site’s “seduction” forum. Hoinsky, who claims to be “good at teaching others to become good with women,” is using Kickstarter to raise funds to self-publish his p*ssy crushing Magnum Opus, Above The Game: A Guide to Getting Awesome with Women. 

Here’s his video pitch…

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The Kidz Bop franchise was started in 2000 as a means of making Top 40 songs friendly for younger ears by taking out the potty language and replacing them with nicer lyrics. As a testament to just how successful this idea has been, Kidz Bop 24 will be released on July 16, and the latest compilation album is bringing old favorites like Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Pitbull and Justin Timberlake back into your homes, while also introducing our next generation to Macklemore.

So how exactly do the Kidz Bop Kids take a song like “Thrift Shop” (not to mention “Can’t Hold Us Back”) and make it suitable for young ears? By getting adorably creative, of course.

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Despite not having to do anything with the company he founded and then sold over a decade ago, John McAfee, of McAfee Antivirus, still receives letters to this day from angry customers, wondering how they can uninstall the damn thing. (Ronald L. McDonald of Hamborger, Mississippi has the same problem — no, he CAN’T do anything about the dead mouse you found in your Big Mac.) He’s moved onto other things, guys, like lighting his cigarettes with money, getting kissed on the cheek by gorgeous women, and wearing only the finest bathrobes fit for a software mogul.

But in a new video, he aims to set the record straight on how to get rid of McAfee Antivirus, which used to be a “beautiful software and [then] they took it over. I don’t know what they did,” “they” being Intel. Lap dances, bath salts, and loaded pistols are involved. Did I say “hilariously” in the headline? I meant this is McAfee’s real life.

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A few weeks ago NYC unveiled its new Citi Bike bike share program, to much controversy. There’s been lots of debate over the program — most people seem to either love it or hate it with no gray area in between — but bottom line: is it efficient? Well that’s what UPROXX favorite Casey Neistat set out to find. Is Citi Bike less of a pain in the ass than, say, owning your own bike or taking a cab.

i was not hired or paid by anyone to make this movie. i made it because i was curious about the program. i did, in fairness, send it to the NYTimes and they loved it but were forced to reject it due the to gratuitous use of the word ASS. i was unwilling to remove the profanity

despite the title of this film, which mirrors my initial experience, i do really really really love citibikes. more bikes means less cars (ideally), more active commuters, quieter city and generally a makes this place more civilized. i don’t think i’ll buy another bike, after this one it’s citibikes for me. also i did sign up for a 1 year membership, even though i own a bike, just incase i am ever in need.

Enjoy.

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I’m so confused about what to make of World War Z. I loved the book, but have reservations about a film adaptation. Brad Pitt’s enthusiastic promotion over the last few weeks is kind of charming, but I can’t help but get a sense of desperation. Not to mention zombie fatigue and all. But then it’s trending nicely on RT and all the buzz seems to be good buzz so I guess I should just quit being a dickhead and be thankful I’m getting Brad Pitt in a summer blockbuster adaptation that people actually seem to care about instead of a Michael Bay brain cell killer starring Will and Jaden.

That brings us to yodeling (who has two thumbs and is great at segues?). Last night — for some random reason — Jimmy Fallon’s comedy bit involved rooftops, Brad Pitt, and the lost art of the yodel. I imagine the idea spurred from Pitt’s rooftop availability and 1500s Alps look, or maybe it’s in reference to zombies sucking at stairs and the lack of modern technology during a zombie apocalypse. Not sure. All I do know is that while it’s not Fallon’s finest, there are a lot worse ways to burn two minutes on YouTube videos this morning. A LOT worse ways.

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Average citizen Jake Freivald lives in West Orange, New Jersey and is the owner of the web domain, westorange.info. It is a bare bones site that provides basic information about his town, and there’s probably no chance in heck that anyone who would happen to visit might confuse it with the official West Orange website that looks like this. Again, look at Jake’s website and then look at the township’s site and ask yourself if you’d ever think that the former could be confused with the latter.

Apparently someone in the West Orange government believes that Jake’s website is actually causing confusion, so the township’s attorney, Richard D.Trenk, fired off a cease and desist to Jake with a bunch of fancy, big city legal terms.

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People preparing to fly out of the Denver International Airport earlier today received a considerable scare after a tornado touched down over the east runways. Just how close was the tornado to the airport, as travelers were reportedly ducking into bathrooms and stairwells for safety? Way too close for comfort.

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Tonight at 9 PM ET on ABC, LeBron James and the Miami Heat will try desperately to keep their hopes of a second-consecutive NBA Championship alive with a win over the San Antonio Spurs in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. The Spurs currently hold a 3-2 lead over the defending champs and their so-called “Big 3”, and in case you weren’t already over there talking trash, you can join our friends at the Smoking Section for their Game 6 live discussion.

As for tonight’s game and the Heat’s chances, Miami is 6-0 in these playoffs following a loss while the Spurs are 14-2 all-time in series-clinching games on the road. Therefore, this should be one that will fly in the face of statistics one way or another. But there are some people out there who actually believe that the NBA is fixed and the Heat are going to win tonight and Game 7. And Nike may have provided them with a smoking gun.

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Woah. I mean, what kind of life must you lead that you feel compelled to get out of your car, walk up to a drive-thru window, and chew out a Wendy’s employee — WHO MAKES $7 AN HOUR — because they put cheese on your hamburger? Good God, fella. Get ahold of yourself. Pathetic. “Double Hamburger. Is there CHEESE in a hamburger … I want my money back, and I want it FAST.”

Take a pill man, and maybe stop and consider that it may be the crappy fast food that’s turned you into a beast. And look out insane Dunkin’ Donuts lady, you’ve got competition.

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