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Sally Draper Is Growing Up Fast

Written by The Cajun Boy / 10.20.11

Here’s an almost word for word transcription of an internal monologue that took place in my head a few minutes ago…

“What this? A Funny or Die video starring Kiernan Shipka, aka Sally Draper from Mad Men, titled “Child Star Psychologist.” Well of course I’ll watch that! Let me click play.

Wow, Kiernan Shipka looks…good. I mean, she’s cute. Damn she’s really cute. But like, in a totally innocent way. But damn she looks like she OH GOD WHAT AM I SAYING — SHE’S A LITTLE GIRL!!!

But God it seems like she’s in the midst of the transition from little girl to teenage girl since the last season of the show went off the air until now, in this video I’m watching. Man, she’s going to be really hot really soon. I wonder if little pervy Glenn is gonna get to hit that on the show?

STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! The FBI and Chris Hanson are probably monitoring my thoughts right now and are about to come busting through the door. What’s wrong with me?! God I hate myself.”

Yeah, that’s pretty much exactly how it happened. Sally Draper is going to be a grown-ass woman before we all know it. Damn that makes me feel old.

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11 comments
The Cajun Boy posted

"Sally Draper Is Growing Up Fast"

  1. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 2:12 pm
    Nussy

    This is as bad as when I said out loud that Chloe Moretz was looking fine on Spike’s Scream Awards

  2. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 2:23 pm
    Cajun Boy ☆

    @Nussy…Well, she was looking fine. I mean…

  3. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 2:55 pm
    Gamaray18

    Dude! She’s 11!

  4. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 3:19 pm
    Aeyos Cot

    Thally Draper doesn’t mind being thexualized. It’s all in a day’s work.

  5. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 4:33 pm
    Maske ☆

    Aeyos Cot = Winner

    @CB: Between this, lusting after Ellen Barkin, and your Rihanna age issues, you are an enigma my friend. An enigma I don’t think I want dating my sister (I don’t have a sister).

  6. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 4:50 pm
    ScottyTres

    I feel the exact same way about Chloe Moretz. I haven’t been this eager about a girl turning 18 since Stephanie from Lazy Town.

  7. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 5:28 pm
    Cajun Boy ☆

    @Gamaray18…Omg I should just go drown myself in a urinal.

  8. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 5:34 pm
    lex2000

    Some people have been spending too much time in certain areas of reddit.

  9. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 7:53 pm
    Cajun Boy ☆

    @lex2000…The times I go into Jailbait are for RESEARCH purposes, okay?!

  10. [avatar]
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    10.20.11 at 11:23 pm
    Sous Chef

    Her age wouldn’t be a problem if she was Chinese. Does China taking over the world sound so bad now, guys?

  11. [avatar]
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    10.21.11 at 1:10 pm
    Gamaray18

    @CB: Exactly. 16? Lust away and feel pervy. 11….not so much.

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