Franziska Hansen is a German woman with large breasts. Like, 38DD large. Tim Schmidt is a German lawyer Franziska dated. He is also a man obviously not capable of handling a woman of ample proportions, as he had her charged recently with “attempted murder with a weapon” — the in question weapon being her mountainous mams. Yes, Schmidt claims Hansen tried to smother him to death with her prodigious palookas.
“The incident happened in May – we were having sex…She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force…I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.”
Why would Hansen want to kill him with her mondo nancies when, according to Schmidt, “everything was great between us,” you ask? Well, he thinks it’s because she was jealous of him for being a lawyer, to which I call bullshit because every lawyer I know is miserable. Rather than envy them, I pity them, more often than not.
Hansen, for her part, claims she was just using her whopping waldos to engage her lover in a “sex game.” Yes, a sex game known in America as MOTORBOATING!
Yo, Spike Lee, what do you think of this German lawyer guy who can’t seem to handle a nice lady with titanic tetons?
Yeah, us too.
(Via Your Jewish News. Pic via. GIF via Gifulmination)
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Y’know, you just can’t find good alliteration like that anymore. Top notch, top notch!
DAS BOOBS!
The near death motorboat experience usually costs extra.
Reminds me of a story I read about a guy who sued a strip club cause he claims a stripper hit him so hard with her tit while motorboating he suffered brain damage.
I guess this is how Chris Brown’s fans feel. You know, the ones that were all like “you can beat me up anytime”.
An absolutely flawless demonstration of self-emasculation. What a dork.
Also, that lady is attractive. But she must be really small, because those look WAY bigger than DDs.
“Way bigger than double DD’s”. Sigh. I wish people in general could understand bra sizing a little better. D is the average size for Western women. It is not huge, and completely different on a 32″ woman than a “38 woman. A 38C woman has much larger breasts than a 32DD woman. Rant over.
I saw a bunch of women making the same remark I did about the measurement on Facebook. Figured they probably knew what they were talking about. But I guess women can be wrong about bra sizing too. Then again, so could you. I’m left mystified.
The thing is, if they’re DDD, they look bigger. But only if you’re wearing those damned glasses.
This link says the number part of the measurement refers to the bra’s band (measured by ribcage size), whereas the letter part refers to the cups (measured by breast size), which seems to conflict with what you’ve said, Rabbit: [confessionsofacurvygirl.wordpress.com] . Possible you’re wrong, or is the link wrong?
Or I guess they don’t conflict, now that I think about it, and we’re just talking about appearance vs. actual volume. I did say “They LOOK bigger,” but I guess I was still wrong in part. Thanks for making me figure this out, lol.
(this was supposed to be another reply to rabbitwithfangs)
World’s Largest Tits Charged With Trying to Kill World’s Largest Pussy.
Ha! You win!