There's no getting around it: discussing politics, especially on the Internet, is awful. It's the answer to, "How can Twitter and Facebook be even more insufferable?" No one's right, everyone's wrong, and the conversation quickly turns into a screaming match and OMG WHY?!?!? #NOBAMA. *slowly backs away*
That's reason #53,429 why I love The Simpsons — their vitriol towards all things political is something that I'm completely on-board with. And when they did have a politics-heavy episode, like "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington," it never felt cheap or disingenuous or preachy -- it was hilarious, and proof positive that liberals (most of the writing staff) and conservatives (the best Simpsons writer, John Swartzwelder) could come together and make something beautiful. Because, really, at the end of the day, aren't we all just frightened and horny?
With that in mind: here are some other lessons The Simpsons has taught us about politics over the years.
As Americans, we must always move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom! Also, free American flags are an important give-away item.
(Via)
The city of Washington was built on a stagnant swamp some 200 years ago, and very little has changed. It stank then, and it stinks now. Only today, it is the fetid stench of corruption that hangs in the air.
Pay top-dollar for a catchy campaign jingle.
Paid for by the Mayor Quimby for Mayor Mayoral Committee
MORE ASBESTOS! MORE ASBESTOS! MORE ASBESTOS!
The trading gap and the budget gap are basically the same thing, and should never be explained in song.
(Via)
American flags make for wonderful throwing spears.
Democracy simply doesn't work.
Homosexuals shouldn't be feared by certain political parties; they're a fun bunch...
...but watch out for their gay guns.
(Via)
If you have to live next to a former-president, make it Gerald Ford.
But stay far away from Jimmy Carter. He's history's greatest monster.
And most importantly, if the country turns to sh*t, don't blame me — I voted for Kodos.
But seriously, no matter who you voted for today, we're doomed. DOOMED.
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I think Futurama taught us that sometimes, we need a man like Evil Lincoln to lead the way.
He’d certainly help the country recover from the setbacks it suffered under Titanium Nixon.
“Now I respect my opponent. I think he’s a good man. But frankly…I agree with everything he just said.”
Quimby. If you were runnning for mayor he’d vote for you.
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!!!
Dammit! You just beat me to it.
I’m not kidding when I say that line was hands-down the first thing I ever learned about politics that stuck until college.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
I think I’ll just vote for a third party.
Go ahead. THROW YOUR VOTE AWAY
I’m all partied out.
* candidate
you fail.
Poor disrespected Ross Perot.
The Simpsons taught me that I should always trust political TV ads.
[youtu.be]
“If you were running for mayor, he’d vote for you.”
I miss when the Simpsons were REALLY good.
Slide 13 needs Moe following up with “He’s right, he ain’t much on speeches”.
Also, I’m pretty sure that [Jazz] is actually the Sanford and Son theme. Which is awesome.
haha it is… i was just gonna say that, as well as how much i love it
I’m an Amendment to be and I’m hoping that they ratify me.
Well there’s a lotta flag burners who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal for policeman to beat ‘em.
“We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little” was eerily prescient of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
“Councilman Les Wynan ought to do more thinkin and less whinin!”
“There’s no councilman Les Wynan” “Good line, though.”
I for one welcome our new insect overlords.
Eat up Martha!
“I’m sick of you people, you’re nothing but a bunch of fickle mush heads.”
“He’s right.”
“Give us hell, Quimby.”
“How could a convicted criminal get so many votes, while another convicted criminal got so few?”
The Ray Patterson on really needed Moe saying “He’s right, he ain’t much on speeches”
And to add…..”Do we want crazy old man Patterson with his finger on the button?” “WHAT BUTTON!?
“What button? Where am I? Who took my false teeth?”
Mayor Quimby: I propose that I use what’s left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, er, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.
Mayor Quimby: First, one announcement: I regret to inform you we are not offering childcare tonight. I don’t know who that guy was you were leaving your kids with.
Mayor Quimby: Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town! You’re just a bunch of low income nobodies!
Aide: Uh, election in November, election in November.
Mayor Quimby: What? Again? This stupid country.
I think it’s best summed up by Kent Brockman:
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: democracy simply doesn’t work.”
Homer: “I’m leaning toward Sideshow Bob. While I don’t support his Bart-killing policy, I think I can get behind his Selma-killing policy.”
“Are these morons getting dumber or just louder?”
Kid: What if people say you’re not good enough to be in the
Constitution?
Amendment: Then I’ll crush all opposition to me,
And I’ll make Ted Kennedy pay.
If he fights back, I’ll say that he’s gay.
“Demand? Who are you to demand anything? I run this town. You’re just a bunch of low income nobodies…..
“Uhh.. election in November… election in November…”
“What? Again? This stupid country.”
Sideshow Bob: Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this, to save you from yourselves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a city to run.
this is what i always tell my dad
Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter.
Here’s a video with Kang and Dennis Kucinich, both whirling towards freedom.
[www.youtube.com]
YES WE CAN have gay abortion clinics on the moon by 2020.
You forgot about our ability as a nation to protest:
“We’re here, we’re queer, we don’t want anymore bears!”
It disturbed me that Clinton and Dole held hands all the time. Then I realized there really isn’t a more efficient way to exchange long protein strands.
Eddie the Cop: Well, well… the Mayor’s car is parked outside the Sleaz-E Motel.
Lou the Cop: Looks like His Honor is POLE-ing the electorate.
The 2012 election seem to almost parody the Citizen Kang episode: [www.thewheelhousereview.com]